Notification!
Please come. This promises to be a very interesting evening.
posted by jm at 6:09 AM
Thursday, March 22, 2007
About Me
- Name: jm
I am a brilliant creation of the universe formed from the cosmic protoplasm sailing into eternity. I have two hands, two feet, a couple of great ears, and I'm clipping through life at a moderate pace; minding my p*s and q*s, crossing my t*s, dotting every i.
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27 Comments:
I noticed where John Edward's wife's cancer has returned to the bone. And with two young children. It always strikes me when I encounter this, how lucky we are to be relatively healthy. And to get to the end of a long life successfully, without major mishap.
I'm perplexed at the way these things strike. And the timing. A look at the charts might be in order. Where does it really originate?
I've always though it was in the individual emotional patterning, but the trip from pattern to actual manifestation is a long one.
Elizabeth Edwards said she injured her back trying to move a heavy chest in her home. When her husband came home, he gave her a hug that hurt and as she twisted out of his grip, she said she heard a pop.
Twisted out of the grip? I think this says it.
I think health is the number one best thing to have in life. But Who knows? People are equipped to handle whatever they experience.
We were talking about comedians the other day, and their importance to the health of society. It seems to me that historically, comedy has been harder to do well than tragedy. I've always wondered about this.
Remember that film, "It's a Beautiful Life". The story of a family in a concentration camp? Amazing, the blend.
I was taught by one of my heroes, my dad, to laugh as life proceeds. The way he did it was so natural, and so truly funny, so it made complete sense. He connected with my mother, who came from extreme tragedy. He caught her as she emerged. But she also laughed. Lots of crying, too, but they go together.
Whenever I despaired, and nothing more could be said, my father would make a ridiculous face, pain forgotten for a brief moment. That was his medicine. He also seriously cared for me whenever I got sick, though. Moon in Cancer.
So predictably, I found a man who was hilarious. I'll never forget the last day of his life. How we laughed with death. He made me read the instructions on the morphine packet, in the last hours. "Don't operate any heavy machinery", as he lay paralyzed on his pallet on the floor, hours before he lost his ability to speak at all. I think this was one of his greatest gifts to me.
Laughter comes from the solar plexus, umbilical region, as do the moans of pain. I know there have been studies of the chemical make-up of laughter, but there must be potent healers in there.
Some resent the funny stuff, some resist the expression of agony, but they are equal to me. Same source.
I've come to believe that there is no answer to any of it. We cope from moment to moment in our own ways, hoping he pain will go away. It does, of course, only to return in the neverending cycle. It's the in-between that always gets good.
If there's any reward in life, I would hope that in old age, one can understand this and synchronize with the continuum, looking forward to another day.
Some resent the funny stuff
Yes. I used to be way too serious. Along the way, I learned about laughter. Its inherent beauty, and healing power. (Because lots of people came along who made me laugh. Through them, I learned.)
Anyway, recently, a friend was going through difficult times. Having already said all the serious, comforting things, there came a time there was nothing serious or comforting left to say. I attempted humor. It was not well received. At all. Oh well.
And btw... it wasn't that my particular idea of humor was offensive to her... others who attempted to lighten the moment were equally reproached... we were all chastised that 'she failed to see any humor in the matter'...
Having already said all the serious, comforting things, there came a time there was nothing serious or comforting left to say. I attempted humor. It was not well received. At all. Oh well.
If you look at it honestly, probably none of it was well received. People resist these efforts no matter how much they say they appreciate your concern. When they're suffering, it's usually hard to really get through. Especially since they need to hold on to it for a length of time we can't determine, and process it from within. It's a comfort to have others involved, but I've seen that the details of what the others say don't matter much. It's easier to ignore the sympathy, but give thanks. The humor requires laughter. Kind of an effort. And a letting go. That comes at different times for everyone.
I think the Ascendant is something we grow into as we go. Aquarius is associated with the absurdity of life and some of the great humorists have had this energy.
Timing is everything, and the funniest strokes are accurate, not missing the beat.
Taking a joke is entirely up to the other, although falling flat hurts when the effort is made! They always tried to encourage me to go into standup comedy, but I don't think I could handle it.
we were all chastised that 'she failed to see any humor in the matter'...
No love lost, if you're all friends. Sometimes it doesn't work. So you know, probably not to try it again.
It's hard when one is naturally funny, like you, to resist the impulse to let it out in the eruption of laughter.
Did she laugh later? Or do you think she will?
It's interesting how some laugh naturally. It just comes like a sneeze. Others keep it locked.
Last night, when you you, kad, and I were talking, I kept laughing out loud, and thoroughly enjoying it. Lots of Aquarius.
I think humor gives us the feeling of some power over circumstance.
We talked it out and she said 'no harm done'. It wasn't even impulsive on my part, I was simply building on, or following, her daughter's lead, as others did.
Other stuff has unfolded since and I've decided to simply pull back altogether.
Most people say canned things to the suffering, "I'm sorry" being the favorite. I've never liked that to be said to me, when I'm suffering.
Sometimes what works for me, is someone who has gone through the same thing. Just the presence. I know they know without any flowery phrases that don't connect.
Sometimes a person can serve as a conduit to the release of the pain, and that works when the time comes. Good Scorpio being adept at this.
I prefer to be alone when I'm suffering. I've been able to deal with it best that way. But each one is unique. Sometimes they can't communicate their needs though. I think some want to be alone but are afraid. I've found solitude to be a big mixture, but the philosophical perspective I find so comforting, comes to me then. Staring at the mountains and what-not.
Last night, when you you, kad, and I were talking, I kept laughing out loud, and thoroughly enjoying it.
Glad to hear it. I want a whole lot more laughter in my life and I am making various life decisions accordingly. Not that everything has to be dismissed with silliness, of course not. But there is room in life for a full complement of moods and emotions, and I'm striving to hook up with people who understand that concept. Pain and pleasure both, in sequence or simultaneous, depending on the moment and the circumstance. It's that Pluto in 5th again.
Other stuff has unfolded since and I've decided to simply pull back altogether
Often a wise action.
People's egos are wrapped up in how good they are at helping others. This can be good or bad. We'd like to think we are ace healers and full of wisdom, but even that fails in some cases. Sometims the wisdom is letting people find their own strength.
Still, I think we should continue to try, realizing our own guilts and desires are part of it.
Pain and pleasure both, in sequence or simultaneous, depending on the moment and the circumstance. It's that Pluto in 5th again.
Well said. This is so true about Pluto and self expression in the 5th. I have it too, as you know. All facets, nothing held back. I feel best when the whole emotional pantheon is there together.
Cancer energy is also is about human foibles and laughing at ourselves. Laughing simply feels good.
But there is room in life for a full complement of moods and emotions, and I'm striving to hook up with people who understand that concept.
Great Moon in Cancer statement!
The pulling back part... is actually me learning some lessons about myself... over the past months... Lessons about the dynamics of pursuer-avoider. Which I have been embroiled in all my life. And aware of. But awareness does not mean one 'ceases and desists' immediately upon 'aha'. Life ain't that easy. But after many turns around this particualr spiral, I think I may have finally broken out of the spiral... Time will tell...
But I am no longer feeling compelled to pursue (my crime, mea culpea) avoiders.
Lessons about the dynamics of pursuer-avoider.
More on this would be great. I haven't heard this exact phrase.
We're given mixed messages about avoiding, told that it's escape. Animals do it instintively. Ameobas really know. Don't know where we got so confused.
I guess we're supposed to go for pain to learn our lessons, so they say. I haven't found that to be necessary. Pain comes of its own accord.
This is such a great concept as we slip slide through life, trying to navigate safely. What to encounter and face, what to run from.
Aries SN has knowledge in this area. Survival skills.
pursuer-distancer, pursuer-avoider dynamic
in a relationship, where one partner (the pursuer) seeks closeness, intimacy, and the other (the distancer/avoider) runs away from such
one fears abandonment (the pursuer), the other fears being smothered (the distancer) -- actually, both do each, it gets complicated
it is not a one-to-one correspondence -- pursuers especially are also avoiders/distancers, and distancers when left alone turn back and start pursuing
it's a tango -- back and forth on both parts
in a relationship, where one partner (the pursuer) seeks closeness, intimacy, and the other (the distancer/avoider) runs away from such
Yeah. The choice reflects the deeper behavior. If a person is sure about intimacy, they' ll get it.
Looks like it's the need for balance. If the couple of the zodiac is Cancer and Capricorn, then Cancer represents the urge to merge, and Capricorn the urge to follow individual goals. Balance is in the middle.
This is why passionate lovers are a little dangerous for me. I lose myself trying to merge with the other person, but neither I nor the other person can sustain that forever, because at our cores we're all individuals with individual pursuits that require attention.
I think that's why as we mature we realize we need a friend as much as a lover. We need someone who gives us the space to do our own thing, to grow, and to evolve.
Ah shoot. I think I lost my post.
Oh weird, now my posts are above the post of yours that I'm responding to.
Test. (Seeing if I come in below your post now.)
I think that's why as we mature we realize we need a friend as much as a lover. We need someone who gives us the space to do our own thing, to grow, and to evolve.
I completely agree. In fact, I had a lifetime one based just on this approach. The most "together-apart" couple they knew, they would say.
Sometimes we lived together, sometimes in separate apartments. I lived on top of him in Mexico, while he fished and drank tequila with the locals. We led independent lives, yet were soul mates.
I think the best marriages are based on companionship, and when it's really there, it's easy to work things out.
If there are constant problems, basic dissatisfactions, more effort than ease to maintain, feeling shortchanged, probably not a good one to be in. The desire to encourage another's growth can't really hide.
Blogger's been acting up, but I got it.
True true.
That's cool that you were able to live like that in a relationship. I think I'd enjoy that to a degree as well.
I'm with a Sag right now, and when we talk about living together she's talked about not sharing a bed. I'm all for creating new rules, and knowing how much she needs sleep (based on what she's like when she doesn't get enough sleep) whatever we need to do will be fine.
She is the best companion I've ever had in a romantic partner. The passion does lack in comparison to previous loves, but I'm pretty convinced that that's why we might just work. We do have a pretty good balance.
The passion does lack in comparison to previous loves, but I'm pretty convinced that that's why we might just work
Very wise. I think it's worth the trade-off. Too much passion creates tension. I agree completely about the chances working because of this.
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