A Noteworthy Study
I'm pleased to announce that distinguished salt expert, Dr. Boron, together with colleague and biologist, Dr. Fern Fytoid, have been commissioned by the influential organization Scientists and Cellists for Immediate Radical Transformation to study the salt levels of public figures as a possible path to understanding why people behave very similarly to animals at a salt lick. Perhaps it is a mineral imbalance, he surmises, or something in their shoe polish.
Dr. Boron has had considerable success studying the licking behaviors of the South Dakota porcupine. He and Dr. Fytoid are going to combine the results and see if they can relate the natural world to the body politic, in terms of licking.
There have also been some parallels drawn to domesticated dogs and water bowls, but as yet, no one has been formally chosen to study these phenomena.