Astrobabble with Winston Moonbat
Greetings! Greetings! Star lovers and galactic travelers! Things are exciting in the heavens these days and I'm here to give you my latest predictions. Fasten your cosmic seat belts!As Mars squares Jupiter and quincunxes the Sun, Adolph Hitler will return to life and become the Secretary of the Interior of the United States of America. Then when Mars forms a biquintile to Saturn and a sesquiquadrate to Jupiter, Switzerland will attack Iran. From the 25th to the 28th of September, when Venus quincunxes Vesta, the earth's ice caps will become bipolar. On October 2nd, nothing will happen. When Mars moves on to trine Neptune, martial law will be instituted in Lapland, or possibly the USA. The Mortimer Snerd eclipse pattern will be bringing bumper yam crops to New Guinea. Venus will make a semisquare and a sextile to Uranus and Pluto. At that time, Israel will split into two pieces due to a shift in consciousness in the human race.
This Friday night at 7:23 PM there will be massive earth changes. When Venus conjuncts Jupiter, the first cloned rat will give birth to an infant rat. And as Saturn opposes Neptune, the current government of the United States will disintegrate and disappear.
There has been some speculation that when Mercury sesquiquadrates Pluto, an earth destroying nuclear warhead will be detonated. I don't see this happening for sure, but if it does, all you have to do is say the ancient chant "steppininnit" three times, do five cartwheels facing north, then hold your nose for 15 seconds, and you will be safe.
That's about all for now. I'll be back soon with an update. Until then, happy journeying through the universe!
posted by jm at 1:24 AM
10 Comments:
What's an Earthling to do? Living on a bi-polarplanet with these constant seasonal mood swings, not to mention SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)is not easy. Thanks Winston, for the babble update, you're a dear.
My pleasure, tseka.
Not to worry. I'm developing a new substance(completely natural) that will allow the individual to swing madly in the pipolar universe and enjoy it, hopefully even be productive. I expect it to be patented shortly and I will let everyone know when it becomes available. A few little kinks remain, but they'll be worked out soon.
Menwhile, just keep holding on.
"Then when Mars forms a biquintile to Saturn and a sesquiquadrate to Jupiter, Switzerland will attack Iran."
Oh, man! I'm THERE!
::grabbing digicam, root beer and a bag of pretzels::
"On October 2nd, nothing will happen."
Is that like the sign that ominously states, "Tomorrow has been canceled. --The Management"?
"Oh, man! I'm THERE!
::grabbing digicam, root beer and a bag of pretzels::"
OMG, rootbeer and pretzels my faves did we come out of the same peapod? Got any licorice by chance? -Good for eclipse viewing.
Tomorrow has been canceled. --The Management"?
Yes!!!! Exactly!
LOL! That old love of life...licorice!
And some of those abundant New Guinea yams!
I'm so glad someone saw the humor in the Switzerland attack. As if anyone is going to shut down the Persian Gulf.
OMG, I about fell off my chair laughing. My sides hurt.
JM, could you please e-mail me with contact info for Winston Moobat? I need to discuss something with him (you can find my e-mail address by going to my profile on my blog and clicking on the link to e-mail me).
Thanks :-)
Pat!!!!!!!!!!
I knew you would love this! O how wonderful! I just had to do it.
E-mail coming pronto. Winston's a busy astrologer, always on target, but he will have important things to share with you.
We can pick up organic licorice on the way. Save seats!
And Cheetohs for me!!!!! With Strawberry twists!
<< Home