Mr. Merton Picklebee's Five Rules Of Life
First of all, I'd like to say what a great pleasure it was meeting all of you fascinating people. I'm delighted that dear jm has found such enchanting folks to spend time with. She's always loved good conversation with the best.Before I dash off to Switzerland, I'd like to share with you my recipe for a good life. Being so imaginative yourselves, I'm wondering if you might have some guidelines to follow as well. Keep me posted. Here they are. My five basic rules.
1.Be as kind as possible.
2.Watch your food intake.
3.Look everywhere at all times.
4.Have confidence in yourself and trust in life.
5.Wear comfortable shoes.
Well, I'll be off shortly, we're sailing on the 19th, and it certainly has been a joy seeing everyone again. When I return we can plan the details of our trip to the Himalayas. Terrific part of the world.
See you soon, and I do hope you have a highly entertaining end of summer. I'll send a postcard. I'm very fond of you all.
posted by jm at 4:20 AM
51 Comments:
I could throw in a couple of others...
Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows...
Don't drink it if its lumpy...
But you are so right, Mr Picklebee! Look forward to your further adventures...J
"smile a lot, confuses the heck out of people . . ."
Have a wonderful trip!!! And bring home lots of treats for the children!
LOL, as the saying goes Juno!
You definitely must watch the eyebrow color, especially on the little dogs.
I never drink my clam chowder. Always use a soup spoon. Excellent advice.
Neith (such a lovely name), I can't help but smile. There are so many amusing things. Some proclaim the suffering of life, even the great Buddhist thinkers who I follow somewhat, but I have found it to be otherwise. Of course I have had my troubles like everyone else, but pleasures manage to sneak in and I enjoy them tremendously. What would the pain be without them? Just pain. I don't see the logic in that.
Wonderful comments.
Oh pardon. That was me. Merton P. I was using jm's beloved computer.
Merton.
It's wonderful to hear from you again. I think your trip will be a great success. When you get back you must come for dinner and tell us every detail. Have a fantastic time!
Hallelujah, Brother Picklebee. You are a fine man. May you have a joyous journey on calm waters and good luck with the praying mantis.
Yes. Comfortable shoes are a must.
Tank you Meestair Pisklebee forr speeking uhbout pain. I agrrhee. Pain is just a veehicle to get to anotherr place. And I also agrrhee uhbout comfortable shooze.
Have a vonderful time in Svitzerland.
Cackle! Cackle!
Ha Ha Ha!
Merton you ol' codger! I just had dinner with your sister Priscilla and she told me all about your expedition. You and your insects! I'm so glad you're not flying in a goddamned airplane!
We must get together as soon as you return to this frikkin' godforsaken country.
How absolutely delightful to see everyone. I must invite you to my cabin for a bon voyage party we're having. August 19th, 12:00 noon. See you there! It will be great fun!
Ok, I've had it with you and your idiotic postings here and on other blogs. I used to like your posts for your positivity but now I'm understanding why so many posters dislike you and your stupid putdowns of things other people like. For instance:
High Heels - I love them. I wear them often because I look good in them. They add height and elongate my frame. Truth be told, I find it much easier to walk in heels than in flats. In fact, I actually trip and lose my balance often when I wear sneakers or flats. I don't trip or fall when I wear heels. I also don't have any back problems from wearing them. And I can run in them at full speed. It's a learned skill. Just because you don't like them doesn't give you any right to put down the rest of us who do. Oh, and FYI, the latest issues of Vogue have previewed the fall fashion collections and heels went higher, not lower. But don't worry. Designers always create flats for people like you.
Television - Yes, I watch television. I like it. There have been a lot of creative shows produced over the past few years, although the upcoming fall season doesn't look as promising. I watch it in the evenings because it's relaxing, especially after a long day's work. Yes, it's a passive activity and that's the point. The mind shouldn't be active and stimulated all of the time, especially right before bed. And there's a lot more than cops shows and "shoot-em-ups" on tv. The Discovery Channel and Animal Planet are two of the most popular networks on cable. People learn from their documentaries. The Food Network broadcasts cooking shows all day. My stepmother has made some very good meals from their recipes. Because of tv, I get to watch sports events from all around the world. I couldn't go to Germany, but I got to watch the World Cup tournament on tv. I couldn't travel to Edmonton or Raleigh, but I got to watch the Stanley Cup tournament on tv. I couldn't journey to Torino, Italy, but I still got to watch the Olympics on tv. Your internet addiction is far worse than anyone's tv habits. It allows you to to talk, shop, and yes, watch tv shows so you never have to leave your home for anything nor speak to a person face-to-face again. Putting down tv is a hypocritical act for someone who sits in front of a computer and blogs all day.
CDs - Good lord, your statements against CDs are ludicrous! The brain does _not_ distinguish between analog recordings and digital ones. Whoever wrote that statement you read saying that analog recordings are remembered and digital ones are not is full of crap! Analog and digital are terms that refer to how the music is recorded and played back.. It has nothing whatsoever to do with the brain. And you're gullible for believing that it does. Digital recordings are clearer, purer, and more precise than analog's pops and crackles, and just as alive and vibrant as any analog recording. Most people who collect CDs, myself included, are avid concertgoers. We love seeing our favorite performers live in concert, and then taking recordings home with us so we can relive and enjoy the experience until the next time that performer is in town.
Airplanes - I love flying. Airplanes are endlessly fascinating to me. Air travel isn't an escape from the self and the mind. It's an expansion of the self by exploring and experiencing more of our world in person. Who wants to be stuck in their head all of the time? Lots of people travel across the globe to discover something different from what their used to. The speed of the travel doesn't defy the fullness of the experience. It makes it a lot easier to get from point a to point b, once you get through the airport and onto the plane. You may not get the full experience in one weekend, but you get some, and it's more than you'll get staying home. Air travel enhances global connection by allowing people from many walks of life to meet in person. The internet is fine, but it's not nearly the same as talking to someone in person.
Do you know what all of your blithering idiocy proves? That you're a crazy, conservative (Yes, Conservative!) old woman who can't handle a changing society. It moved on and left you behind. And now you're whining about it. If you don't want to or can't adapt, that's fine, but don't put down the rest of us who have. You're not progressive, you're Regressive, wanting to turn back the clock even further than the nutjob neocons and rightwingers want. The 60's are over. Get used to it. The Age of Aquarius is going to bring more technological changes, not less.
I would like to bring up one quote of yours from Lynn Hayes' Astrodynamics blog (Baby Boomers: A Faustian Bargain, Wed., July 26):
I have Pluto in the 5th with Saturn there too, and being out of step with society has been one of my major themes. I can't decide if this is good or bad! I know deep down it's good, but I have to control my intense criticism of the group, while still pursuing my intent to have people recognize the significance of what I have to offer.
Well, I've got news for you! The group won't accept you or what you have to offer if you keep attacking them! If you keep up your attacks you'll make yourself more and more irrelevant until one day all you'll be left with is you conversing with dozens of your other personalities and the few real posters who can still tolerate you on your own lonely blog. Oh wait, you're already there.
Weirdo.
The group won't accept you or what you have to offer if you keep attacking them
Chana.
I completely agree with this. I've been thinking about it a lot. I experimented with not attacking and it didn't work either. But I agree. I can expect the same thing in return. What to do with my criticism of society has been a big puzzle yet to be solved.
So actually, I thank you for being honest. I like that better than any hypocrisy from anyone, including myself.
If I end up alone. I will accept that. If it's the price to paty for being myself.
Welcome.
Chana
I will add that my way of being only makes you stronger. Look what you just did. Expressed yourself and your opinions in no uncertain terms. I bet a lot of others ignore you as I can see you have a potent personality.
If we really let ourselves out, there always will be opposition. If we try to temper it to please the crowd, we will probably end up with physical pain and sickness as the feelings go back inside.
Even more than trying to convince others to think like me, it is my desire for them to be bold, brave, and autonomous. Then maybe we can throw off our societal and governmental oppression and all be free to thrive as individuals.
You are contributing to my cause. Just in the last days I was getting tired of my own bullshit, so this could break the impasse.
You really got me thinking Chana.
The internet is fine, but it's not nearly the same as talking to someone in person.
This is interesting. It's true that it's not the same. But for ME, it's sometimes better. Sometimes in person is what I need for the time. I believe they both work.
I don't know your age, but I've got something interesting to tell you. Whether I am an old bag, conservative, or crazy, the freedom that comes with old age is to be yourself even if it's not accepted. This is one of the great compensations of nearing the end of one's life. You'll see.
For example.
For me, this was one of my best blogs. It made me laugh and brought me joy. You don't like it and you don't care for me.
Should I refain from doing this because of you, or should I entertain myself and maybe preserve what I consider to be MY sanity in a psychotic world?
The compromise I can come up with is not posting at Lynn's anymore if that would please you.
What,Chana! you mean yer short?! Could be a problem... and me at a mere 5'4"... I'd hate to look down on ya...Better get the platform boots on...IF you can catch me you can kick my butt, I'll even give ya a headstart...
I don't nescessarily agree with the cd thing either, but you betray a certain ignorance of the process, compressing sound to cd format IS lossy. Check out an audiophile site if you really want to know about it.(Oh my god, what did we do when we had pop, cracks and *shudder* hisses in our music...)
As for TV, maybe you should watch IT instead of US, Sorry honey but you can participate in the conversation and state your point, that is blog ettiquette... we tend to listen to others here, or you can go back to whatever it is you do for fun, because Lurking in the background getting resentful of what we all say here and then losing it in a most undignified manner is...well a little immature...and BTW, we ain't all old hippies, just some people for whom the Olympic Games in Torino really hold no charm. Blog is a personal art form, sorry if we don't always conform to preconceptions, we are encouraging creativity here...
I suppose I ought to give you credit for leaving a name, so many people leave their disparging comments simply as anonymus.Of course I'm probably ranting to thin air, jm can always delete me if I'm too salty :)
Jm, sorry for biting back here, you can always delete my post if you want, but that was crass. Love you and your cast of characters, don't compromise for anything!
....Donald Duck rides again!
AND!
The biggest question of all.
Why is everyone so afraid of aloneness, including me?!
Donald, my man! Thank you from the bottom of my everlovin' little heart!
It's ridiculous!!! Just because I have an opinion about CDs doesn't mean that everyone on god's green earth can't continue to listen to them and love them.
Put your thinking caps on!
Jesus Mary!
Ahww, shut your mealy mouthed trap, Chana!!
Sister Chana. Welcome to this brother and sisterhood. You are blessed to be here.
Peace.
ve must all be free.
CACKLE!! CACKLE!! CACKLE!!!!
People, people, people. Please think of the good things ahead for dinner, perhaps a nice glass of wine, and even a cigarette for those truly daring souls.
The difference of opinion is one of the most glorious parts of life.
In my opinion.
You are all wonderful!
Chana, Daahling.
Perhaps a good laugh would be your cup of tea.
Chorus reply: CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE!
Now that I am ahem, back to my self (more like MM as opposed to my evil alter, DD) Just want to let you know that I think you're great,and you shouldn't censor yourself off blogs just because someone else (who is not the 'blogmaster/mistress', BTW) has an issue. I suspect most of the blog czars enjoy your prescence because you open up conversations and add more details and insight to flesh out the discussion. As me old da used to say "Illegitimos Non Carborundum" (probably not spelled right, need latin spell check on these babies:) )..ie: Don't let the Bastards Grind You Down...Keep on shining!!! JJ
Hallelujah sister!
This is my frippin' blog!
Illegitimos Non Carborundum de Conundrum!
One of the most memorable experiences of my life was when I was an aspiring ballerina as a child, and I participated in a dance recital as...you guessed it!...a weirdo.
I wore a black leotard and tights wrapped in irridescent poison green ribbon and shocking pink antennae wiggling on my head... I danced in FLAT ballet slippers and it was fabulous!
Thelma, my teacher, has quite an imagination.
This is a perfect illustration of what we were talking about in terms of the group and individuality. The crabs dragging the one who wants to live back down.
It's the aberrations, the mutations, that push the group ahead and adapt to ensure survival as Darwin discoverd, and so far, is accepted as fact.
If people want to follow these governments and groups to death or oblivion, that's fine.
I'm not following.
Go ahead and stay terrorized. It's a free world, really.
LOL! Got any pics? NOW that's something I'd love to see!
Damn! I wish I did. I was too immersed in the experience to trap it for posterity. I'll have to be more diligent if I want to go down in history.
I always wanted to be a monk and stay the hell of this stinkin' mass produced society. I was fine with chastity and poverty, but obedience is not within my spectrum.
I can't stand it! To see the masses line up for god knows what, with tickets in hand, stilettos underneath, wearing the identical fashions, worshipping the same empty icons, believing the news reports, and no real individuality. No courage. I think this obedience to any jackass who puts himself in a position of authority can be fatal.
I completely flipped out last week when I saw the subservience all over again with all those people and their newfound terror of liquids in the airports being herded like livestock. It demolished small airport businesses and made fools out of the people. I can't sit by and be silent.
Too bad. I took ballet,tap and modern dance for about three years when I was growing up. I suspect any grace I posess was due to that. I remember thinking it was silly and girlie at the time, but I have gotten a lot of compliments at clubs and parties and am pretty happy in retrospect that my mom insisted on the lessons. Can't play a lick of music, but just let my ass find the groove and I'm off...That's why I love funk so much.
My ass loves the groove more than anything in life.
Rhythm, man.
Funk is my god.
That's why I kicked off my high heels and got down!
Girls, a new club just opened up and I'm coming by in my latest hot rod to pick you up.
We're going dancing!
Myrtle's gonna show you the best time of your life!
The more I think about it the more amazed I am. I'm not hurting a flea. The job is almost complete. I'm here in my own place, staying out of trouble, and minding my own business. Since when is talking to myself a crime?
What in the world is going on with everyone? Dismembered body parts are flying all over the world and you're concerned with what I'M doing wrong?
My criticisms aren't even personal.
Go back to WWIII.
I'm understanding why so many posters dislike you.
Good thing to ponder.
And finally(applause)...
It's easy to ignore me. The world has mastered it.
But I still exist.
neith, thank you. I'm so lucky. Don't know what in the world I did right.
I know for a fact that when I get older I'm going to look back on this experience as one of the greatest.
I love you too. Something good is coming.
correction.
something good is already here.
Ja jm, something good is here already.
Just read a comment by Juno, over at Neith's blog, that this is like a quilting bee. That's a good description, i have been thinking of it as a Circle of friends.
When i was growing up you could walk right into my neighbor's houses no knocking (in fact when we moved my parents had a dickens of a time finding the key to our house. An old skeleton) Life flowed on and around, you might sit and coffeeklatch for a bit then the peas would come out, no words were needed, just shelling peas for a bit or snapping beans, folding laundry or whatever was the task. You slipped into the rhythm for a moment, shared and went on your way. Life was not interupted...in some ways this reminds me of those days, that kind of peaceful sharing, a free space that stood open.
Heavens, tseka. There you are with your grace.
Believe it or not I share with you the love of peace and contentment that comes from stitching, spinning, and weaving, snapping beans, and all those unhurtful things. I also have a lot of fire and wildness that has to get out, and, of course, I worry sometimes that I can be too disruptive. But what can I do? I have to be true to myself. Something in my life is making that happen now. So to be part of the circle and still free is almost more than I could ask for.
I'll tell you one thing. I will do everything I can to help protect this quilting bee.
I think it's time for faith and confidence.
The Moon has just entered Taurus, I'm going to paint a wall of my Zen garden, and I feel certain that I will be calming down very shortly.
Oh how I love you all.
As a matter of fact, that concept seems so fitting, I subtitled my blog "The 21st Century Knitting Circle . . ." Remember the saying "many hands make light work"? It still applies w/just a slight change of perspective. Where ever Sagittarius falls in our charts, it reminds all of us of the value of friendships & of being a friend. As I value you all, my friends. It's a big world out there & a little cold at times, so here's to Friends!!
:-)
I'll second that. Sometimes the members of the circle come together for a momentary reminder of the center, around some ritual. Then off to the individual tasks. We did that several times a day in India. This reminds so much of that time.
hmmmm....Sag falls on my 8th house. I prefer to think of my own sign which is on the 11th. Yes, much better.
sigh, Chana, (though she probably has long since moved on to harangue other bloggers), in time you'll learn that what we criticize in other is what we hate in ourselves. So be careful what you attack for you will become that thing. As the Israelis have certainly learned. First they hated the Nazis. Now they have become the Nazis. Two sides of the same coin.
Casey.
Agreed. We attack what we fear in ourselves. That's what made me part ways with the political blogs. I saw the same behavior on all sides. Hate is hate, wherever it comes from.
Criticism is one thing, but the personal hatred and below the belt insult over opinions and ideas is not for me.
BTW.
Chana made a few good points until she totally lost it at the end and revealed her ugliness. We've all got some of that though. It's a tricky line...the one between good self expression and loss of control that causes pain. But I'm going to follow some of her advice.
BTW.
Chana made a few good points until she totally lost it at the end and revealed her ugliness. We've all got some of that though. It's a tricky line...the one between good self expression and loss of control that causes pain. But I'm going to follow some of her advice.
Please just ignore what she said - don't really understand where it came from but that was just ONE person's perspective. This person's perspective is you are just fine the way you are & anyway you choose to be!!! :-) Besides, it's your blog & the first rule of blogging is you can say whatever you want on your blog.
Good advice, neith.
I gave it some thought and I realized that the poor child's unhappiness seemed to be triggered by the airplane post. It verifies my title....Terror and the Airplane.
I can't add to the great nuggets of wisdom that have already been said re: Chana except nod in agreement. I missed it while it was going on, which is just as well... *extends one claw*
It's your blog and you can say what you please. Wasn't it Pat B who ripped you a new one for posting so much by telling you to get your own blog? And you did just that. Pat B. would be furious if she could see what effect she had on you. nyah nyah! :oP
Ha ha ha Joe! I remember that suggestion vivdly!
Hey! I do what I'm told.
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