South Node in Libra
or the Seventh House
Under the gun of approval. The fear of displeasing people can be so strong with these nodeholders that they anticipate a metaphoric annihilation. Sometimes they will do the horrible deed, but feel such remorse that they change their minds and cooperate unconditionally. They often dissolve at any show of attention and forget their unpopular original aims, so vivid is their memory of harmony. Reshaping, covering up, smiling in agreement, pleasing and supporting constantly, eventually bring the Libra SNs to complete frustration and sometimes major conflict to bring about the inevitable and secretly longed for separation, and onward to their search for themselves. And back they will go to please again and again, wondering why the others aren't REALLY pleased. Indecisiveness. Tied together with approval is the exasperating inability to make clear, fast, and firm decisions, feeling an uneasiness about the repercussions. They have difficulty understanding that their lives are entirely their own, to do with what they want. Others can fit into their decisions; they know this when at their best, but usually the reverse is the case, and they bend, twist, and contort to fit into the alien program, trying to rationalize and convince themselves that it will work out, and they will get their way too. Satisfaction eludes, they wait and see what will happen, staying busy weighing far too many options. Excessive fairplay. The SN Libras are afraid of doing the wrong thing and not serving justice even when it hurts them to remain bonded to equality and fairness. Tat for tat, good deeds begetting endless good deeds, no act of sweetness unreciprocated, and never an unkind ignoring of another's demands, can leave these people exhausted, wondering why relationships end up unfulfilling despite this merry-go-round of cooperation. The exciting liberation of doing the not-so-perfectly-right thing remains out of their grasp as they become increasingly diminished in this outworn goodness of behavior. They've been kind enough. Too kind. Fear of rejecting others. This terrifies SN Libras so much that they would 1,000,000 times rather be the rejected party. They stay in unrewarding situations waiting for the ax to be dropped by anyone but themselves. When by some miracle they cut someone loose, there are often doubts, regrets, and hopes that they can still get together again and work it out. The complete separation they know they need sometimes comes too late for a clean and satisfactory feeling of freedom. Recognizing the impossibility of satisfaction, and having the strength to act decisively are much needed characteristics in order for these natives to move ahead and discover genuine progress. The act of rejecting, itself, is an establishment of firm identity and confidence.
Conflict. There are many variations on this theme. Sometimes these natives fight frequently, sometimes they put it off until a major explosion occurs. There is an underlying discomfort with the disruption of peace and harmony, but the inability to refuse to compromise eats away at them, creating ongoing resentments. They often feel an initial impulse to stand their ground, but find themselves weakening as they fear the inevitable disagreement. They have a difficult time establishing boundaries, yet feel the urge to defend themselves as the lines drawn get more and more vague. The Libra SNs know all there is to know about maintaining successful relationships, and quarreling is a necessary part. The problem now is that they are drained by this effort, yet fear what they really want to do .... walk away. And best of all, keep the conflict from happening in the first place, unless self-initiated for good reason. Continual bickering keeps them trapped in burdensome explanations and justifications. They would rather act than explain. Apologies have lost their effectiveness.
Getting one's way, making demands, and winning. Speaking up and demanding decisions be made in their favor can be very difficult, especially when someone else seems to lose in the process. To be accused of being selfish is ghastly, but this is exactly what works best. Me first. It's not selfish in the way others think, it's smart and necessary. The competetive urge is as powerful as it gets, yet when push comes to shove, they back away from coming out on top. Always putting other people's needs before their own has become archaic. Doing what they want is paramount.
Loneliness. The hardest part of possessing the SN in Libra is the fear of loneliness. They think the desolation of being by themselves will be unbearable, but they frequently don't get far enough into this state to know if this is true or not. As soon as the slightest feelings of isolation grow, they run for rescue. At a very high price. What they fail to realize is the fact that they will probably not be alone at all. People will come to them automatically, especially when they sense the lack of neediness. The person who can be around the multitudes, yet be totally self absorbed if she chooses, exemplifies a great talent for these nodeholders to cultivate. The gullibility, the speedy response to others, and even a certain pleading quality they sometimes project, is gladly exchanged for this autonomy, as the time alone becomes full of life and vitality, the time together balanced and enjoyable, with ease of separation. The relationship with the self is the primary one. Oversensitivity to the disharmonious needs of everyone. It'll drive you crazy. The Libra SNs are bringing their expertise in compromise, cooperation, and support of others, home to themselves, stepping out of the confines of one-on-ones, to develop a full relationship with the self. The North Node in Aries. A great one.
Top: Carey Armstrong-Ellis. 3rd: Lynn Curlee
Bottom: Pompeii. Charred body in ashes of Mt. Vesuvius.