South Node in Aquarius or the Eleventh House
The misfit and rebel. The Aquarian SN identifies with the rejected, destitute, and downtrodden masking a deeper desire to join the ranks of the mighty and well entrenched in society's inner sanctum of wealth and position. Sometimes he will purposely be outrageous and unacceptable to ensure his lack of worth to those in the higher echelons. He will frequently be found in social services biding time in an ultimately unsatisfying career hoping for the chance to be served rather than always be of service to the unfortunates in common society.
This nodal native will often display rebellious behavior thinking it quite normal to be halted for fractures of the rules of the game, while inwardly seeking an equitable relationship with the ruling elite, and ultimately a prized superior position in the ranks. What he often does not realize is that expression of true confidence gives him the freedom within the upper crust to still be independent and as quirky as he wants to be, as long as he can let go of the obsessive need to be an outcast, and he remembers his innate non-attachment to material luxury.
Observation versus participation. Like a cool and rational scientist, the 11th house SN immerses himself in the crowd, maintaining enough separation to ensure that personal hurt touches him only peripherally. He studies human behavior and can be an expert on the psychological underpinnings of society's members, but he himself remains emotionally distant approaching personal involvement in a technological way. His longing for group love keeps him immersed in crowds, but his reluctance to step into the spotlight, fully animated, dulls his true ambitions. He remains an equal part of the congregation.
Shunning the Spotlight. Rage at the system masks his ability to use it as his audience. While once afraid of being found out, he now wants to bask in the glory of being discovered and even fully exposed in the limelight. Self consciousness and an attempt to maintain his intellectual prowess keeps him from enjoying the warmth of people and the admiration that comes from being his authentic uninhibited self, where each performance begets another successful performance and the crowd applauds enthusiastically. He's coming to love the crowd loving him.
Circumstances beyond control. Aquarius often tries to control spontaneous events since he knows that circumstance will get out of his grip no matter what he does. He now understands some of the larger than ordinary influences that govern life on earth, but still he finds it difficult to let go and lose himself in moments of abandoned self expression. What will happen to the world without his awareness? A preoccupation with the future that once inspired the crowd to consider utopian possibilities now inhibits his celebratory immersion in the present.
Pessimism. The SN 11th house is accustomed to looking at gloomier aspects of existence instead of a bright future, unless it's shaped by his visions. He's too aware of humankind's path thus far and perceives more of the same. That could be accurate, but now he wants to plan for better conditions at least within his own realm. He can indulge in playfulness this time around, if happiness is no longer thought of as foolish. Or even if it is. Like the performer who's come to expect the bad review, he overlooks the inevitable raves that are due to come his way. Happiness is a possibility, at least momentarily, as he learns to spread joy with his unpretentious self love, leaving the world to its own machinations.
The mind vs the heart. What gets the SN Aquarian's heart going is association where conventional attraction need not be expressed. Overdone love of concepts and ideals prevents the native from experiencing the full pleasures of ordinary romance. Sexual expression of devotion can be problematic, if singular devotion even enters in. He frequently frowns on the melodramatic sentimentality of romantic escapades. Too many requirements for freedom can restrict affairs of the heart.
The marked detachment of the 11th house SN can create the feeling of being a stranger. He's come to rely on his aloof nature, but now he longs to feel the heat of emotion and even suffer the results of losing himself in personal mergers, even when some admire and seek his mastery of separation. Dependency is not attractive, but he knows it's a by-product of the relationship he's really seeking. It's the antidote to his isolation.
Rejection of useless fun. The SN Aquarian secretly wants to forgo world weariness and enjoy life unashamedly. He resists silliness even though he can have a great sense of humor and a talent for dry observation. Still, the childlike nonsense enjoyed by others eludes him or falls short of the mark when he tries it. It can take on a stilted nature. He is serious and embarrassed by flights into what he often considers stupidity, where mindless fun overcomes intellectual pursuits. He's ready now to join the party, if he can overcome his fear of eclipsing his vast intelligence and advanced state of evolution.
Everyman's man is now ready to leave service to the collective and shine with a brilliant ego, illuminating the environment and drawing the full attention of the crowd in a healthy glowing exchange of love given and love received. After years of supporting others as a democratic member of the group, his turn to step above the audience and be singled out as special has come. No longer bound to identify with the oddballs and misfits of humanity he can consider himself a full fledged accepted and adored part of the crowd, or ideally, the star. The curtain calls with the North Node in Leo.