Sunday, May 20, 2007
About Me
- Name: jm
I am a brilliant creation of the universe formed from the cosmic protoplasm sailing into eternity. I have two hands, two feet, a couple of great ears, and I'm clipping through life at a moderate pace; minding my p*s and q*s, crossing my t*s, dotting every i.
24 Comments:
Hi jm! You know, to some extent, I feel like I'm wearing a target on my head as well right now. Silly me, thinking that my Saturn Return was going to be all smooth sailing. First two hits were relatively uneventful, but now that Saturn has gone direct and is gaining momentum, heading for hit No.3 at 23 Leo, every-thing seems to be piling on at once. How has your own Saturn Return experience been?
Neo, my man!! Mine is at 22. It's been traumatic as well as making me progress in ways I've been unable to for years. The momentum often builds at the end to give us our last opportunity to get it.
The latest development for me is a resolution (so far if I don't blow it) of a problem that began 30 years ago on the 1st return. I did not expect this. Very specific.
The larger issue revolves around my centering of significance in myself. I particularly recoil at celebrity worship and following each and every move of the famous, because of this. To me, they pick the worst ones. These actions don't really affect my destiny, including leaders, and they seem often like an escape from self significance. Leo is the star of his show, but the judgement has to come from within. A hard part of the lesson. Everyone has a Sun as their personal center and a Leo house. What adds to this is the USA NN in Leo. We could be doing well. Pride in our leadership and cultural output. Like when our movies first came out and thrilled the entire world.
So I witness the crowd following god-knows-what looking for god-knows-what and I despair. Something big is missing. Some of the pols running now are Saturns in Leo and they are pitiful. I despair. They are a reflection of my home and society. I do despair.
But I know there are better ones in the wings. I think Saturn in Leo is marked for a central position in some way. Saturn wants us to do a great job and it takes forever for many of us to be satisfied with our level of achievement. Ego and self respect. Many people are waiting for the good Leo Saturns to take the job of leadership when ready. The ones who have held back and developed themselves, which should take a long time if done well.
I feel like I'm wearing a target on my head as well right now.
I find myself getting shot down constantly until I get myself up to the level I want.
Tell me more when you're around again. It will help. You said yours was in the 2nd which makes for an especially big journey to self esteem.
Overall, this return is bringing me out from behind my Saturn wall. I guess targeting is inevitable. A hard hat helps!
My kind of mama!
Hej Neo, always good to see you!
My Mom had Moon in Aries, Venus in Leo and she was outlandish. One of a kind. I can't imagine growing up with a meek one.
For me, neo, I think this transit has been trying to give me rock solid self confidence entirely independent of praise or criticism. Since the 1st return, I've worked nonstop at this but never felt like I was getting very far. I feel like a step has been made now, and I actually find myself looking forward to what's ahead. I'm anxious to test it and develop it as far as as I can.
I just was routed to an 85 year old woman who runs two full marathons a year and just got back from a trek in the Himalayas. Something along this line would be great for my old age. I was instructed to contact her, and I think I will.
This is exactly my plan JM, maybe not the marathons as i don't run anymore but the grand adventures absolutely!
My parents and grandparents, great aunts were all just coming into their prime at 50-60 the next 20 were excellent. My father noted some slowing at 80, still works harder than most i know.
We can savor the experience more now.
BTW that impulse purchase when i stopped for milk at the market turned out to be lotsa fun. Pink sparkly hula hoop just what i needed.
1
I was just thinking that my virgo moon probably saved my son from untold embarrassments.
as i don't run anymore
Anymore????? You mean you used to run? I'm surprised.
Hula hoops are hysterical. That kind of laughter is precious. Pure physical nonsense. It comes from a different place I think.
It was the strangest encounter today. A new couple I met. He absolutely insisted I meet her. This used to happen a lot, people guiding me this way. I am very curious.
I've always known that my old age would be the best part. I've suddenly perked up.
The Uranus (Gemini0-Pluto (Sag) opposition has opened up a new vein socially and the adventure looms before me. Himalayan travelers are right up my mountain. This is exciting.
The interesting thing about old age is the hormonal shift. Women get more androgens going, men less. So it's no wonder that these gals often go back to school or on safaris and all kinds of adventures, while their men start cooking, gardening, and staying home. I love it.
I think there comes a point when the regrets of lost youth vanish and the opportunities with the limited time left completely open up to be enjoyed with freedom.
Pluto in Capricorn, as we've talked about, will make us more desirable in society, too, as this childish country matures. The Grande Dames of the USA. Red carpet, please.
Actually i never liked running but would run the canyon in the loose sand of the creekbed 5 miles a day to keep fit. Fastest way. Mostly i wanted to be able to be fit enough to climb.
Severed nerve put a stop to that.
I mostly do yoga and dance.
I do not miss running,
Do miss cycling.
"Pluto in Capricorn, as we've talked about, will make us more desirable in society, too, as this childish country matures. The Grande Dames of the USA. Red carpet, please."
I can clearly see this. The grandmother's the Elders but you will have had to earned it. No freebies just because of age.
Himalayas huh?
I could be good. I have a small kernel of desire to do this after seeing the photos of the Tibetan plateau.
But the list is long. How to choose?
Hi -- I've been missing these wonderful dialogues -- my life carries me away too often. Last night my car was totaled by someone in a very dramatic way -- and I spent hours shivering on a dirt road late at night with a lot of police and their big guns. I felt some sympathy for the guy who hit my car (thank god no one in it) who apologized before he escaped into the bushes. Anyhow today a friend mentioned that she'd been hearing a lot about Pluto on the radio in conjunction with these times and she thought it might be related. ( I'm also having strange issues with wells... but that is another story.) I've still been kind of in shock all day, but coming out.
Wondered what you all thought -- was this accident some Pluto thing? I probably have to go to bed soon, but am hoping to check in again very soon and more regularly
xxx
Juju oh my word.
Here's a hug. I don't know about pluto nor any astology really but my guess is this was a mars or urnaus event.
I'll be listening for JM's response. She is so awsomely good at this.
Jeessisss, man!
Juju, I will check your chart and post what's up, but I will say this first.
Car wrecks are issues of authority, always an issue with a Moon in Capricorn. It was a man, so that's significant.
Your sympathy for the guy also speaks volumes. Not blaming him but sensing the reasons behind the event. This is good. To come here for the metaphysical perspective. Very good. It's never really anyone's fault. It's circumstance above all, and messages trying to get through.
You are unharmed, shaken up, and awakened. I'm so glad no one was injured. It's over and now the awareness can come.
I love your input so I hope you will come more often.
I'll get the picture and post tonight.
Oh am I glad you're OK. You will be fine shortly. Having squeaked through a violent episode unharmed is a great relief when things settle down.
The grandmother's the Elders but you will have had to earned it. No freebies just because of age.
Very important point.
Some elders learn, some don't. Age alone is not a guarantee.
But the list is long. How to choose?
I think it matters not. Lots of options, many equal. The actual travel is often not necessary, especially with a NN in Pisces who can travel in the imagination and make it real enough. Saves wear and tear and money to journey this way!
Maybe we'll all go for one Himalayan trip together. I think Merton Picklebee was going to guide us, as I recall.
Off to the chart room!
My computer is impossibly slow tonight and refusing to post my comments. I hope this will go through and then I'll come back tomorrow.
Thank you tseka. I've bee thinking about a remedy you mentioned once that helped some people to dream their cures. I'd love to have a consultation with you some time.
And jm, yes, always issues with authority. And no one harmed is the main thing. It was all incredibly dramatic -- maybe I'll say more tomorow. But now comes all the fights with insurance companies. dread dread dread
well good night and thanks again. wish I could stay up longer
There is a lot going on. It's a big event.
Saturn is transiting your Sun-Pluto which is a depressive time and it will probably develop moreso in this vein in the next couple of months as the transit becomes exact and then leaves. It will be a chance for some contemplation, as it might slow you down and give you brooding time.
The 11th house Sun is about your future. Also your Venus ruler in the 10th was being hit. More about your goals and your future.
Neptune is transiting opposite in the 5th so this is about your creative output.
Jupiter is in the 3rd now and this is your writing. Jupiter is also exactly square your Virgo Mercury, more about communication. Uranus is headed for your 6th house Mars to change your routine.
One of the biggest things overall is Pluto just about to leave your 3rd house. I think you probably have changed as a writer and have yet to recognize your full talent and the transformation. The confusing part is how to translate it to the world, but that might take care of itself if you work more intensely up ahead.
We talked earlier about the Pluto coming to your 4th and Saturn in the 12th for retreat and extensive writing. You will feel this soon.
I mentioned the astrological aspects so the astrologers can see it. I realize it can be confusing.
The whole picture I get is frustration in forward motion in the world and maybe this accident will reroute you. Where was the impact? if sideways, then something is pushing you out of the way, If in the front, something is pushing you back. If in the back, it's pushing you ahead.
The writing is ready to be developed in earnest, and this is probably an awakening to the seriousness of your pursuit and how it should take precedence. Being a perfectionist it will take a huge amount of work to get it up to your standards. But the time ahead will give you that space. I don't know who or what is blocking your progress but you should know.
The money issue, which also was all over the place, will be a lifetime of work with Saturn in the 2nd, so I guess just dealing with the inconvenience now is all you can do.
Mars in Pisces is often confused about direction. the next step. You have to wing it. I have something similar.
Uranus, the ruler of your 5th house of creativity is in the 10th, indicating a destiny of success with your creative talent. No ifs ands or buts. I have it too.
So I can only suggest getting a nice new car and getting to work. An impasse just was broken through.
Anyhoo, juju.
Accidents are terrifying. The thing I find with these shattering events is that there's a calm afterword as if something was percolating for a long time and finally found release. Some people seem to attract more trouble than others, but most of the time these things are thankfully infrequent. It sure makes the minor mishaps seem manageable. It's a huge pressure release.
What I think is hard is enduring these things with no understanding of why they happen. After I became an astrologer, I was amazed at how much sense things started to make. When it came down on me several years ago I already was well into the knowledge and I still can't imagine what would have happened without astrology. I'll never know. And I still wonder how people get through without this perspective.
I am utterly fascinated by your comment about your sympathy for the man. I am very interested in some more info on this. Also on the sequence of thoughts and feelings as you pull out and recover.
I am a big crusader for the triumph over feelings of victimization in life which I find almost universal. Cause and effect seem to govern, but what these are is the mystery. And all events are part of a sequence. None can be deleted.
Most people ask what they could have done differently. What they should have done. They think it could have been prevented. They shouldn't have been there. They feel they've done wrong or have been wronged. But I don't think that's relevant. What is is. Guilt undermines progress and learning. One of the reasons I'm against prediction. Things just happen. I try to figure it out. In retrospect, when we arrive a good places, and we know that every event before has led us here, would we want to go back and change the painful ones?
I'll be interested to hear your insights.
Thank you jm for so many insights. And your astrological reading is very interesting to me -- even if I don't understand all of it, it helps me to learn. I was interested in your comments about asking what we could have done differently. Its odd, Peter and I both sort of had premonitions about something -- we even purposely parked the car in a place where no one leaving the party might back into it. But even with the premonition, there was no clear premonition about what to do.
So here's the story, probably in way too much detail....
We were at a small party in the mountains at the cabin of a very sweet man, people singing round the fire and so on, remarking on the beauty of the moon. I think the music had stopped, people were moving around, chatting, when we heard a loud crash and a horn honking madly from the dirt road below -- we all rushed down. My car, the first in a line of cars, parked way off the road, on the opposite side of the road from the direction in which he was going, was completely smashed (on the side -- so jm that answers your question about "something pushing you out of the way" -- though I'm not entirely sure what this means). The driver must have passed out and hit my car going extremely fast. Then his tire came off, but he apparently tried to keep driving until his truck wouldn't go anymore. We all walked down the road to his truck, he was inside, the airbags had come out, his horn wouldn't stop honking. People tried to disconnect it. He seemed okay, kind of lit up, I went up to him,distraught, telling him he totalled my car (which I'm enormously attached to -- its almost like my sanctuary, I always talk about how much I love it). He said he was so sorry, and I asked him if he had insurance and he said he did. I even patted him on the arm, I think, in sympathy, he seemed kind of glowing and beautiful. Then I went off to get a pencil and look at my car which was way down the road, lots of cars between him and me. During this time he disappeared off into the trees. The sherriff who showed up was a very sympathetic man, he knew the guy well, said he'd lost his job at the mine last week, just had got a DUI, and was quite dangerous. I said he seemed very nice, and the sherriff said he was a very nice guy, except when he went off his meds, and drank, and then there was no telling what he might do, including using dynamite. (This was so strange to me because I've been absorbed in Pychon's book "Against the Day" which has a lot of anarchist dynamite-using miners.) I said he didn't seem hurt, and the sherriff said he was a hard man to hurt. But then one woman at the party said she knew him quite well (many people at the party knew him a little), she was worried about him, said it was his daughter's car he was driving, that he had just had a hernia, and she went to try to find him. Lots more police turned up, not so pleasant as the sherriff, and they got out several big guns, as if he might come back and threaten them, which he clearly wouldn't want to do, as his running away must have been so that he wouldn't get breathalized. The party of course ended with the accident, but I had to wait a long time out in the cold on the the dark road, fending off one drunk young guy from the party, until the state troopers showed up.
I hope there is some movement or release as you mention in this event. It basically feels right now like lots more hassles -- just getting insurance to pay -- and I just went through a whole other event in which my car was hit -- when someone backed into it -- and I had to go to physical therapy for months and didn't get a cent. But it is interesting that this much beloved car seems to be getting hit so much. I do have lots of issues with authority -- and feel like I'm being bullied a lot these days by various men. But these incidents sort of increase the feeling.
and sorry for going on so long...
A little postscript -a guy who is working on my house, who lives near where the party and showed up shortly after the accident, came by to say a hiker ran across the guy in the woods, but he still hasn't been found by the police yet. And that the girl who knew him said he was crying when she first found him in the car. Everyone in the mountains knows each other pretty well -- which also makes it feel a little more odd and intimate.
Juju this is fantastic information on the premonition! It completely verifies my view that life's events can't be avoided. A person who's living fully won't run from them, nor play the victim role. They are all needed, including our country's experiences now, war among them. Of course we try to influence the direction and stay away from obvious harm sometimes, but things happen anyway. We are definitely not in control. We really have to go on blind faith quite a bit. But we also have the skills to cope with events.
This is very intersting about the explosives. Tseka mentioned Mars-Uranus as a factor, and I commented but deleted it, because it wasn't a square. Then I
aid, "What? It's still in aspect". It was a trine. This tells me a lot about astrology. More of what I suspected.
This involved your 6th house of work, and your 10th of achievement and reputation. So it adds to my conclusion that this will benefit your work.
It also adds to my view that bad events aren't necessarily bad and sometimes vice versa.
I think the car represents our outer self, ptotection, image, etc. It could be time to change that. What color, style, and size was the car?
You have attachment lessons as well in your chart so this violent separation was necesary to free you in other ways. The replacement will say a lot. Lessons of letting go.
I have to give some thought to the fact that you weren't in the car this time. This hints at inner protection in effect. And separation already in the works.
The Venus in Cancer squared by Mars could be family holding you back.
The intimacy and sympathy of the crowd is very interesting. This is an affirmation of your friendship selection(11th house).
I don't know who the smasher represents in your psyche but it's worth figuring out. In metaphysical terms, all the players are symbols of yourself.
but I had to wait a long time out in the cold on the the dark road
Fears of abandonment. Moon in Capricorn. Isolation and coldness. Hard boundaries. Venus in Cancer is intimacy, so that struggle is ongoing. Waiting for help. But it always comes. What to do in the interim? Writing requires solitude.
and feel like I'm being bullied a lot these days by various men.
This is so much of it. You can come up with techniques to deal with it.
First. Guilt and apology. Before you wrote this you apologized to me, even after I asked you to tell me the story. With no conditions stated. There was absolutely no need to shorten or apologize. I'm sure this happens a lot with you. I've worked consciously at curtailing this myself. There is especially no need for us to apologize when we go ahead and do things anyway. Very common.
I'm big on this and always tell people to apologize for the REAL misdemeanors. It reveals and underlying guilt about self expression. I have it in a big way, but I'm beginning to think the consequences are worth the release of self.
It's a hard habit to break, but as artists, we have to do it without "them" in mind.
This is a start and I'll post more in a bit. There is an encyclopedia of information here.
Here's a little added story of my own.
Awhile back I decided to stick to my blog and not post at the others since I always get into trouble when I do. Naturally I felt guilty, feeling unsupportive of my friends. I figured it was helping me consolidate my limited energy though.
Well, I broke training last week and posted elsewhere. And sure enough, driving on the street, a car going slowly next to me suddenly swerved and came close to hitting me. The side. Pushing me out of the way.
People have always tried to push me away. So by staying here, I can concentrate and work. I must progress steadily in my life now without interruption. The interruption is really my own, of course.
Lesson learned once again. Amazing how quickly the forces told me. I thank them heartily. I don't like metal crunching violently around me.
Saturn in Scorpio wants to get to the bottom of things, but there is a wall preventing the in depth "mining". Scorpio is willing to go through the pain to find these places. The superficial can get in the way. I can't help but associate the dynamite with this search and desire to blow up the wall, since this image keeps coming up. It could be related to the full force of emotional expression in your writing.
After time to settle, results should be coming in. The conscious effort helps this in between process.
It's fascinating that you have such a complex relationship with the man. Most people get hit and don't know about the other. It's an unusual situation. It seems like the group wants to help him. A lot is being said about socially acceptable behavior, since on his meds he's so nice.
Very interesting group situation.
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