Hi. I'm Jerry and I'm a Fearaholic
Then it started to interfere with everything. I lost my job, my wife, and my sexual functioning. It finally got to the point where I was afraid of my own voice, and I was smoking four packs of Camels a day.
A friend told me about a great organization called TerrAnon. I joined and I was saved.
My life has turned around. I made a swimming pool out of the shelter, found a great new job, decided I didn't need a wife after all, and I've cut down to three packs a day.
Life is fantastic!
Credit to Joe for the inspiration and his great sense of humor.
posted by jm at 12:58 AM
25 Comments:
Thanks for my morning wakeup chuckle, jm. :oD
How apropos, today of days, to run across a quote from the "X-Files" by Agent Fox Mulder:
"Fear...the oldest tool of power. If you're distracted by fear of those around you it keeps you from seeing the actions of those above."
I had a dream of being on a plane flying out of the ruins of 9/11 last night. I hope this is some sort of good omen...
BTW -- if someone has a minute, how do those HTML tags work -- if I want to make something bold I assume I use a b with the little arrows, but am not sure how to do it.
ROFL!!! This is a great one, jm!!
anon - place the arrows plus the letter before whatever you wish to change & the arrows plus slash letter at the end . . .
have fun!!
Flying out of the ruins of 9/11 sounds like a good omen to me! I'm very, very tired of being reminded of that event for political purposes - at least IMO!!
And if you wish to add a username, check "other" . . .
But...but...all the duct tape....
Duct tape?
Yeah, from the run on rolls of duct tape when the government said we could tape plastic sheets over doors and windows to keep out biowarfare attacks. But a physician told us that we'd need pressurized air flow for that to have a hope of working. Confusing. :-(
We could write a book . . . 101 Uses for Duct Tape . . . :-)
Factoid: Duct tape was originally called "duck tape" (because it was waterproof). Quack, quack!
No more "duck and cover"!
I have another idea. Let's duct tape the mouths of these twittering, jabbering politicians. The ensuing silence would allow for people's innate reasoning and critical thinking skills to kick in.
Great idea joe!
Fear...the oldest tool of power Also great that this came up today.
I've always wondered about Duc(t(k) tape. One of those annoying questions.
The 9/11 dream is wonderful. I sense that this is reality and part of the Pluto event.
I don't pay attention to the news coverage but I still feel an emptiness in the terror game as if it's deflating. And this verifies my feeling all along that the war on teror was going to work in the real sense.
Now let me go get my duck tape!
And this appeared in my paper today...
Iran looks at suspending nuclear work
Does anybody think we're being gamed? Raise your roll of duck tape if you think so.
Oops, I forgot to include the chattering talking heads on CNNCBSABCNBCMSNBC, and on Faux News ("We distort, you deride!").
Oops, I forgot to include the chattering talking heads on CNNCBSABCNBCMSNBC, and on Faux News ("We distort, you deride!").
LOL!! Sad but true . . .
Surgically altered, pancaked, sprayed, bleached, capped, and lobotomized babbling bores.
Ja, my son called me at 6 this morning to wish me "happy terror day"
Then we got down to work on the creative stuff.
Hey i love duct tape - a million uses, tho i notice i'm using Christi's black pvc more...(of Christi's Red Hot glue fame for those of you who don't have to do your own plumbing projects and might not be in the know)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
I love that guy!
Christi's black pvc more...(of Christi's Red Hot glue fame).
Thanks for the household hint, tseka. One of my searches in life is for the perfect glue. Didn't know about this one.
The pols always seem crippled to me. Congress is kind of like Lourdes if they had the sense to beg for mercy. Or as if they came out of a special education class. Something's off about them.
The pols always seem crippled to me. Congress is kind of like Lourdes if they had the sense to beg for mercy. Or as if they came out of a special education class. Something's off about them.
Maybe they've been sniffing Christi's Red Hot glue?!
Hey i taught special ed on a Dewline base in Northern Canada. Those kids had it all over the congress folk.
Err the glue is pvc for plumbing JM, really for laying pipe. The big Uranian surprise of my spring- a gyser where one should not be. Got to lay new waterline, five acres of trenching by hand. i was the shovel-monkey, complaining that i was getting too old for this. My son countered that he wasn't listening to some 54 year old whiner, after all i am only 5'7" and he is 6'7" lots farther to stoop. Man he has an answer for everthing and does not let me be old for a second. Kicks my fanny to keep up. No yoga or pilates program comes close! We have fun.
hahahahha oh Neith that's sooooo goood!
Pilates!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't get me stared! I hate it!
I've only progressed to toilets. No pipe laying yet.
In fact. my toilet needs a flapper right now.
"Let's duct tape the mouths of these twittering, jabbering politicians."
New slogan: Duck tape stops the quacking! Yeah!
Jerry said, "Life is fantasic!"
You been hanging with the politicians again? You promised no more sniffing....
New slogan: Duck tape stops the quacking! Yeah!
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!LOL!!!
You been hanging with the politicians again? You promised no more sniffing....
Ho ho ho ho ho!
We are on a terror day roll!
<< Home