A Warning.
Rembrandt
posted by jm at 2:19 AM
Friday, September 22, 2006
Rembrandt
About Me
- Name: jm
I am a brilliant creation of the universe formed from the cosmic protoplasm sailing into eternity. I have two hands, two feet, a couple of great ears, and I'm clipping through life at a moderate pace; minding my p*s and q*s, crossing my t*s, dotting every i.
Links
Previous Posts
- One Last Virgo Before the Equinox
- Fer Sale
- A little blues tune in the key of E
- The Journey Begins
- A Virgo Tragedy
- For Our Fashion Lovers.
- Clean And Neat
- A Pair Of Penguins
- The Girlie Gene
- Now This...... Is Chicken Soup
97 Comments:
I know very little about astrology, and haven't thought of it in terms of language before your post kj. You are right, trines and transits, cusps and houses , all kinds of possibilities.
Astrology is the most not boring field of study I've encountered. All you have to to do is get used to the language and you can start to apply it all right away.
I'm in the process of going throught some things I think are useful and so far I've covered a couple of signs.
A lot more to come. it's easy to learn and you'll be able to use all the information. It especially helps to understand why people act the way they do.
I'm hoping everyone can read their own charts a bit fairly soon.
The chart is a map of the person's psyche and one of the best paths to self understanding I know. It gives a solid base from which to interpret the swirling events around.
People often go racing through all the little parts of charts and try to rapidly put it together and make sense out of it, but slowly and methodically will bring great results. Even understanding just one part, such as the Moon, can be abundant in its help.
It's the wheel of life, the wheel of fortune, and if we know it, we can ride it.
The first and foremost fact is that we are the masters of our destiny and all that happens is our own choosing. Some call it karma, but no one is in charge of our lives and its events. This is one of the glories of the chart. It takes the responsibility to the self and frees us from blame.
For example, kj, your ups and downs are there for good reason, as you will see.
And we touched on juju's plumbing problems which were symbolic of elimination negativity in her life.
Very shortly, Jupiter, the planet of higher education will be going into the sign of Sagittarius, also about higher education and metaphysical knowledge.
You couldn't have picked a more perfect time to come here to share these ideas and learn.
This will be going on for one year and I think the leraning curve will be huge. There are still some details in all our lives...getting rid of some bothersome things pulling us down unnecessarily Such as pols for some of us!), but during this year, the learning will take off and we'll all be incredibly enriched.
One of those golden apples.
I wish I could figure out why my ups and downs are so much stronger than they ever were. It's starting to make me uneasy. Might be the weather... it's been raining nonstop for 3 days. The Libra in me is rejoicing because we had a dry year, and the gardener in me is starting to wonder if the fall chores will ever get done, and the rest of me feels like I was transported to Seattle by some agency or other...
You can post your birth info juju if you want.
This is why I want to take time, joe.
Instead of rushing to analyze a transit.... these occurrences are usually about ongoing deep issues, that are written in the chart.
To start....
The Moon is the indicator of the mood of one's life. A Moon in Capricorn is in a sort of down mood easily depressed, not always feeling like joining in the fun. In your case this is a major plus for reasons we'll go into.
The first thing to do is not to worry about the deep moods. You want them, need them, and the longer you go, the more you'll delve into the internal well. This can cut you off at times, but that's just the purpose. For contemplation and study....your own ideas rather than taking in too much of others. Thus, your computer virus. To eliminate these other's no longer useful ideas in your head.
The main thing about astrology is to see why things are happening and see the opportunity.
As you cut yourself off from other's ideas and look for yout own, at first this can cause restlessness and fear.
The learning will be coming to all, and especially you soon, so I would read this as a clearinghouse time. You can start to see the value of the rain and sadness right away. They take us inward. Not encouraged by others, so this adds to the difficulty. Ignore them. When Jupiter leaves Scorpio, there will be an uplift.
You can analyze everything and still end up back at sqaure one with a chart. But there are basic simple themes and when we grasp these we can work consciously throughout our lives to develop the potential. When you really see a chart, the negatives must be there as part of reaching this potential.
I caution against ending things prematurely for this reason.
Neobuckeye also has a Moon in Capricorn and if you look at it, you can see a similar tone in some of your comments.
Kadimiros, on the other hand, has Sun, Mars, and Venus in Capricorn so he probably experiences the down but handles it entirely differently with all the fire and dynamic energy. He goes off on wild learning tangents!
The Moon broods and likes quiet in these moments. To absorb completely, like the ground when it rains so much.
So.
We are surrounded by so many pressures like the weather and society. People in our lives often disapprove and make it that much harder to be ourselves. They are often wrong in judgement. So the chart is the best indicator and helps us follow our own guidance. This often happens in our families growing up where our parents sometimes tried to get us to be unnatural to our character and potential.
I stopped counseling others for this reason. I wanted them to decide for themselves and self knowledge is the way. People internally resist advice and the thought that someone knows them better than they do. They don't. I wanted them to know their own charts. But it does take some concentration to learn.
But even a start is already putting the focus on the self to effect the best solution to individual problems.
kj.
Your cancer Moon could take reams and reams. I've got time. I'm a Sun in cancer and I KNOW your dilemma. I have 3 sets of ear plugs as everyone knows, and I share your tendency to get overwhelmed by sensory commotion.
Retreat to the quiet cave is a lot of the answer.
Books and gathering information in your case, as you will see in the chart. This brings you needed safety being so sensitive.
You don't need math. So it's clear sailing!
One book I recommend for starting is The Divine Astrologer by Marcia Moore. The Compleat Astrologer is also a good one
It's easy really. Once you learn the symbols and the meanings of the signs and planets you can start to put it together.
Moore goes fully into each planet in each sign and it's good reading. We can list the placements for you when you are ready.
Aries is the warrior and seeks conflict. I am an Aries rising with my Cancer just like you. I feel the need to battle the wrong I see in the world and when I actually get into the fray, I want out. I can't stand the hypocrisy and all. The unwillingness to see and change, and all the blame.
I also have your Taurus. What you and I both need to do is RELAX!!!!
You can't beat the rural red. They like that and will asked to be punished more. So some technique is the answer that draws then in eventually. Some will change. It's your own need for conflict that needs to be decided upon. Useless battle is exhausting.
I unsubscribed to Move On. It's wonderful.
The political thing will do what it does. There are those who are cut out for it and someone will always be trying to improve things.
Others can help more by being artists, philosophers, and all of those things.
It all goes together.
I can't be a witness to such rampant abuse, people mutilating one another for breakfast and all day. Not my cup of tea.
the emotional roller coaster of the polls is insanity. In '04 when they were hovering at 47,48, and people were agonizing with each point was shocking. That's the kind of stranglehold these people can have if you let them.
Get the book used, kj!
Just the decision to put your life force elsewhere is enough. the rest will follow. It's hard to change a habit and the guilt will creep in, but in reality there should be more guilt if you don't follow your own path.
That political world is blood sport at a very low level. It's humiliating to participate in it.
I've given my all to the "real world" and it's time to go back to the Well. Time to drink and time to fill.
I think the well is the real world.
That's too expensive. try the other one.
Actually, a used book store probably has the best prices. Good thing to do. Browse and relax and see what pops out from the shelves. Metaphysical used book stores exist.
Do the New Moon abundance check. Maybe the book will come to you that way. :o)
Here's the way to do it. Although this advice calls the results "amazing," it's been anything but spectacular. Instead, it's subtle but definitely there. The bills always get paid somehow. I've stopped worrying about making ends meet each month, because everything keeps working out for the best.
Abundance Checks (they really work!)
Abundance checks are a tool we can use to create more abundance in our
lives. They are written within 24 hours after a New Moon.
Surprisingly, you really don't even need to believe that the check
will work when you write it. You will however be amazed at the
results, as you will see increased abundance in your life, in some
life area. It is not always financial, but certainly in an area that you need.
Many people are skeptical about trying this until they do it. After
the first time they realize the power of these checks and do them
routinely every month!
There is a traditional manner, which has been handed down, that must
be followed. If you do not have a checking account you can draw a
check on a piece of paper and fill it out the same way--the results
will be the same, more abundance for you.
Here's how to do them:
1.) Within 24 hours after a New Moon, take a check from your check
book. Where it says "Pay to," write your name.
2.) In the little box on the same line where you would fill in a
dollar amount write "Paid in full."
3.) On the line underneath your name, where you would write out a
dollar amount, write "Paid in full."
4.) Sign the check: "The Law of Abundance."
Do not put a date on the check. Do not write a specific dollar amount
in the check. Put it in a safe place and forget about it. The Universe will take it from there. Try it yourself and see!
My abundance check is looking at me right now from the bulletin board. It's written with a gold pen.
I always use elaborate and stylish penmanship when I write mine. But now I will start using colored pens, and add stars and planets and comets all over the check. Thanks, jm! :o)
This is one of the best ways to learn strology.
Get a book called the the American Ephemeris
It's a book of all the planetary placements for whatever time span you get. Every day. Get the 20th century one and the 21st. Not expensive!
Learn the symbols of the signs and planets. Easy.
Once you know the symbols you can look up any birthday and see their stuff. So if you know people's birthdays you can go right to the book. You will be so excited to be able to do this that you will automatically go to your astro books for interpretation. It gets wild. You'll learn fast.
But now I will start using colored pens, and add stars and planets and comets
Daily activity around here!
Really works. The sooner you get familiar with it and don't have to depend on other astrologer's interpretations the more you'll get it. People have a tendency to forget what the other's say but if you learn it yourself, it will stick.
I just did it. And amid the stars, I added in tiny print words of things I want to see more of, like "real, honest food," "family farms," "moderation," "balance," "ideas," "wealth," and "health insurance for ALL."
Joe! fantastic! The pol of the future.
It's been proven that drawing does unusual things to the persona. The use of imagination. That's what we're learning collectively now. All things start in the imagination, and our political scene will change that way as we do more and more of this.
And amid the stars, I added in tiny print words of things I want to see more of
No comment.
Here's some Aries info for you kj.
The Warrior
Huge, huge disappointment (because of my expectations) from people I thought were fighting the same battles I was fighting.
Recognizing our true allies is a big one. People cover up a lot.
JM, I just learned my moon is in Cancer and read about that this afternoon. More to read and digest, of course.
The Moon in Cancer is one of the most sensitive placements of all. Absorbs everything. Feels everything. Way more than most. The immersion in the subconscious world is hard to explain to others. And the Moon is safety nd emotional comfort so a person with this needs to be in touch with her feelings constantly and ackowledging them. Expressing them. A lot of flow. They also soothe other people's hurts like no others.
My father had a Moon in Cancer and when I despaired he would take me for rides in his car into the countryside. Barely talking, but stopping to speak with the cows. These trips helped me endure my childhood. After my husband and mother died, he did the same thing. He took me to a spiritual shrine in the hills that I never knew existed in my home state. Said he thought I would like it.
When all else failed he would make funny faces to humor me.
It's the world of earthly imagination.
Many many writers have Cancer/strong Moon in their charts because they are able to imagine other people's experience so well. Poets too. Musicians, especially singers.
Cancer soothes the hurts of life at her best. But she hurts a lot as well. A Moon in cancer knows how to handle it.
kj - Astrodienst, my favorite all purpose astrology website (the one Pat sent you to) has lots of free info plus does free chart readings. And, best of all for those of us who are "math challenged", all you have to do is enter your data & presto chango . . . charts!! I recommend signing up as a registered user, go to My Astro on the top of the site page to do that!
From Marcia.....
Moon children are profoundly aware of the hidden currents that swirl below the surface of events and need to be aware lest they get caught in undertows of emotion that sweep them beyond their depth.
These hypersensitive individuals are impressionable to the point of being unconscious mediums.
From Marcia.....
Moon in Capricorn
Lunar Capricorns are often haunted by a feeling that their lives are destined to be austere and difficult. This sense of being a pawn of fate can lend them an air of solitary remoteness. Outwrdly they might be poised and charming, but inwardly they are beset by fears, melancholy moods, and shyness.
Abe Lincoln had one.
Then comes the point. How do I use these traits which have an up and down side to their best advantage.
A chart is like a tapestry. you weave it together thread by thread and are conscious of each one as you go. Then you can step back and see the finished product in its harmony.
The same with these threads we are weaving here in cyberspace. I suspect that in a little time we will be able to see a tapestry we couldn't have imagined.
Thank you so much for all this JM and everyone. I'm learning as I read along. I too have moon in Capricorn, and can identify with the harder elements it suggests.
Here's my birth data
8/17/56, 9:20 am, Trenton NJ
My plumbing issues seem to be something that P. and I are experiencing as a (relatively new) couple. He's been working on the house, and involved in hiring/firing/ getting screwed by them as much as I. I've thought of it as sign that we've been somewhat naive -- too willing to overlook things that felt wrong. Though we were totally blindsided by the second plumber -- not sure how we could have known his tactics beforehand. I did your interpretation of it being a reflection of inner issues and getting rid of negativities. P. is a Sag, Dec 16,1953, 3am Hamburg, Germany. Probably more info than you want to know.
And these days I seem not to have sustained time at the computer -- right now my son wants it, and then I've got to drive him to a kids event, so I apologize for not sustaining conversations, but I do love coming to this site.
Great juju. This will help. Take your time and come round whenever you can. I enjoy your visits. There will be slots for more talk, I'm sure.
Young children are something. Especially at his precious age.
Capricorn can be tough. Not too forgiving. There is a lot of Cap here and this is unusual for me.
But soon Capricorns will be called into the forefront with Pluto going into Cap. Just as Sagittarians figured in recently, Caps are on deck and will be powerful influences. I have this coming to the public sector of my chart so I am already attracting you Caps to guide me in this not too familiar territory.
The world!!!
I think that the Capricorn people are going to find themselves more useful and it will become clearer as to how to capitalize on the energies.
My dad is a Cap., very tough on the outside and doesn't open up at all. Very remote, almost superficial in some cases. He's been adrift for most of my life, seemingly without purpose. I hope your prediction about Caps comes about, jm. Maybe it will energize him somehow.
It's hard to tell with the older ones. My aunt was a talented photographer with a Saturn in Cap and she was briefly successful but didn't really pursue it. In your case though, this experience right now is invaluable as you head toward this phase.
You have a fantastic Capricorn setup. Jupiter with the Moon and the famous North Node as well. This is fabulous, and you have the opportunity of a lifetime just ahead.
I rarely see such good Cap stuff. I think you will be able to help your father, with your nurturing Moon right there with his Sun.
You have the best chance of fulfilling Cap potential of any chart I've seen
A lot of your angst now is preparation.
He's been adrift for most of my life, seemingly without purpose.
What Cap wants most is to have purpose and be useful. I've seen this a lot when Capricorns don't know how to find their success and recognition. They don't kow what to do with themselves. They need a structute to climb up in.
You'll see when we get further into each chart. This is why I wanted to proceed slowly so the info could sink in. I think you can already see how this works. The understanding comes so naturally and it's a wonderful sensation.
Once you really know the placements, what they mean to you, it stays forever like a story accompanying experience. Nothing like it. No chart reading by an astrologer can come close.
I am amazing. I have two hands, two feet, a mouth, a couple of ears, and I'm a dazzling machine clipping through life at a moderate pace. Taking care of business. Minding my p's and q's.
And yet another facet appears . . . :-) I just never know what I will find when i drop by here!
You noticed neith!
Hard to describe onesself, is it not?
Well, I'm pretty boring but you are constantly reinventing yourself! Must be that Uranus/Venus in Gemini - it's just so much fun to watch!!! :-)
I also thoroughly enjoy you & kj moving from Aries to Cancer & back! With her Cancer Moon/Uranus, she's another one woman kaleidoscope! Delights, both of you . . :-)
Oh yes, one last thing I remembered I wanted to note.... the Libra New Moon Oct 21-22nd?! It's happening at 28d Libra, and as I recall, that's real close to your descendant.
nite!!! :-)
Nite, neith. Glad you got thru the day.
Sleep well.
jm, I sorta feel like a guinea pig here. ;-)
Well, Lunar Caps (and probably Capricorns in general) aren't necessarily unfeeling, cold or emotionless individuals. I'm hardly insensitive, but then my Cancer Ascendant in a wide orb opposition probably balances that tendancy to be somewhat.
Actually, I think the best way to describe us Lunar Capricorns is that we just don't like to open up and SHOW our emotions. We have them like all of the other moon types, but we would rather HIDE them, because showing how we feel makes us vulnerable, whereas being cold and aloof is a form of personal defense. (i.e. "I won't open my heart to you, so that you won't get too close to me because you might hurt me somehow.")
Unfortunately, hiding one's feelings often results in isolation and distance between ourselves and those whom would otherwise be a bit closer and more personal to us. In a sense, it's a method of control. It's also an irony in that one of Capricorn Moon's often greatest fears is being isolated and alone, particularly in romance, which of course, requires emotional intimacy, something that Lunar Caps are reluctant to give. My Sun Pisces/Pisces stelleum sister ironically struggles with this one even more than I do.
jm's post above is very true. Capricorns, Moon, Sun, ASC and those with otherwise strong Cap in their charts are truly at their best when they have something to aim for, and something to work towards achieving, particularly when it is a challenging, long term project. They are the planners and organizers, builders and climbers. Bob Marks said it best when he said that a goat without a mountain to climb is a sad goat indeed!
Yup. Sad goats.
Neo that is a beautiful description of what a Cap Moon is like to own. I too have never found them unfeeling, just reserved. The professional distance.
This is wonderful. All these Capricorn Moons sharing the experience. I think this is the best way to learn astrology and about ourselves.
This is another aspect of a Cap Moon. Emotions are fluid and not rigid in boundary. But Saturn is rigid structure. So feelings in a Cap Moon have to go through that matrix to express. By that time they have lost some spontaneity.
Not like me with Moon in Sagittarius. The feelings come out like flickering fire.
Both have plusses and minuses.
jm, your blog is soon going to be overrun with CAPRICORNS!! It's an invasion!
You know, I have no idea what will happen when Pluto gets to my Natal Moon and trines my Taurus Sun. I think it will be an interesting time for me to say the least, and I'm hoping for the best out of it.
One thing I am going to fight is the urge to be an overstructured, planned-out control freak. I know I have that in my "shadow" so I'd rather acknowledge it now, instead of burying it and having it show up in a disturbing form later on. I think that's the dark side of Capricorn in people, corporations, organizations and governments that Pluto is going to expose and shake down in a big way, just as he has exposed extremism and lack of responsibility/accountability as the dark side of Sagittarius among many of the same.
jm, your blog is soon going to be overrun with CAPRICORNS!! It's an invasion!
OMG!!!! You're tellin' me!!!!
I'm hoping to be ready. Pluto will be at my 0 Mars in Libra too soon.
I'm just in the mood for Caps.
One thing I am going to fight is the urge to be an overstructured, planned-out control freak
LOL!
Our country is ready for a little of this. I agree completely, Neo about the dark side.
The one thing I'm banking on is the natal Pluto in Cap which gives us innate talent in dealing with it. Pluto in Cap is able to break down and rebuild by nature. We structured a government from scratch and we have experience. Moreso than with Sagittarius. We struggled with Sag to establish our new identity. Some countries have done well during these years.
You are indeed double fire, jm. Between your Aries Ascendant and your Sag Moon you've got tons of spontaneity. That's the heat and warmth that draws everyone around the fire you've got crackling here!
Oh Neo. I'm tellin' you. That pesky Saturn in leo threatened to ruin the party for years, but I think he's under control, speaking of control freaks!
Moon/Jupiter in Sag
Saturn/ Pluto in Leo
All in trine with the Aries within 3 degrees.
BTW, all the Capricorns here are going to restrain me! They just haven't started yet!
And neo, all this proves what you said the other day about elements overriding the Sun sign. Who woulda believed a Sun in Cancer in the 4th could be like this?
You are certainly the feistiest, firiest Cancer I have ever met, jm. With that grand Fire trine, I personally don't think even the "Raging Caps" here could ever touch you!
"When all else failed he would make funny faces to humor me. .."
That reminds me of Schnabel again (famous concert pianist again and very funny): "When a piece gets difficult, make faces."
My experience with Caps is that they are just very focused on work, REALLY down-to-earth with good practical common sense, and hysterically, wryly, dryly funny. I have several, several best friends who are Caps, including my oldest (we've been friends for almost 40 years!) dearest friend, Nancy. Those Caps -- true wits.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
kj
This is going to be great fun!
kj, you just made me crack up with that last comment. Perfect to-do list! :o)
Neo, you captured Moon in Cap perfectly. For me, the natal sign Scorpio makes the emotional storm a bit worse in some ways, because I can't/don't allow the storms going on under the surface to show. I've gradually learned to let my hair down as I've grown older.
There goes another hairpin. Drat! :o)
Interestingly, my mother is a Virgo and I remember her frequently nagging me to stop being so solitary. Reading about the persnickety nature of Virgo puts her behavior in perspective.
Political email accounts cleaned up.
YEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
joe. Great point.
Interestingly, my mother is a Virgo and I remember her frequently nagging me to stop being so solitary.
This is EGGGsactly what I was trying to say about parents going against our nature. You have Saturn in the first and you are supposed to be solitary in the beginning of life.
I suppose we have this challenge for a reason but it sure is confusing to the child who feels one way and is told to behave another, according to how the other wants to be.
We are asked to fulfill a parent's potential as well or instead of our own so often.
jm, I often felt that I was not "okay" to be solitary as a kid. I spent a lot of time on my grandmother's farm and it suited me so well.
Ironically, my parents and I are all INFJ's in the Myers-Briggs Interest Inventory. They both accused me in the past of being "antisocial" and yet they are homebodies and have only a few close friends. I'm curious if I can find out from them what their exact birth-times are.
Today is my sweetie's birthday and I review his Astrodienst notes, which I had never done. Quite an accurate picture here: "Some public note could eventually come your way. Yet you should remember that the Moon successes are rather ethereal and do not maintain a permanent state."
This always drives me nuts because he deserves a lot of recognition for his successes and knowledge, but it never comes or is so fleeting as to be nonexistent.
There will be reason for this joe. I'll look at the chart this evening.
Actually, jm, it makes sense now why I was so upset and down when plans for an open house/birthday event fell through. I invited tons of people he knows to stop by for a bit and visit. All kinds of things went wrong: the cake we ordered got screwed up, the date was announced wrong, few people showed, on and on. He wa very laid-back about it, and actually seems to prefer that I not do anything like this again.
Ah well. Can't say I didn't try. :o/
That's interesting joe. I'm back and will look at these unfortunate little glitches! Something to so with his hiding nature maybe. I'll see.
There's an interesting configuration, joe, with your man.
At first there is the impression of ease, grace, and beauty with Venus, but following immediately is Pluto in the 1st house.
This means a person has tremendous power of presence but more often than not, he withholds it and isolates himself. Such people are afraid of their own power and of the impact and the consequences of unleashing it. So they unconsciously hide their light, running to the safety of shade.
His is especially imbued at the last 29th degree and I imagine he is a fascinating person, but hides much of himself, even from himself. The mystique adds to the fascination. I am drawn in dramatically by Pluto 1st house people.
The square to Scorpio at 28 adds even more intensity. This is a lot for one person to handle. It probably has to be revealed in increments.
Tremendous creativity is written here. Jupiter is just finishing the transit to this and there could be some developments by the end of November.
But it's a lifetime process. When they are born out of this cacoon it is sight to behold and worth waiting for.
The most important thing right now is The Saturn transit coming to the Pluto. This should open him and will be going on until September of '07.
Next fall is particularly important in this development. But now he is in the middle and struggling.
The reason the party failed is because he's in the midst of these transitions and wasn't ready for the attention yet. Very symbolic.
He was very laid-back about it, and actually seems to prefer that I not do anything like this again.
That says it all. he does indeed want this again, more than anything in the world, but it will take a minute. Leo risings were born to have light shine on them. What you can do now is adore him in every way, even flatter him honestly, to build his confidence. Attention to the process till next fall will bring results. I think he's looking for an accurate picture of himself.
You are wise.
What's the wallpaper image of? :-) Mine's of autumn in Central Park.
Pale peach/pink adobe home with a blue window, what looks like lavender growing along the side, a pot of red geraniums and a wood ladder resting against the house.
I love that one!
Hmmmmmmmm.....the autumn leeeeeeaves....
Oh, there's no reason I can't show you. Enjoy!
Central Park - photo A
Central Park - photo B
Kadimiros, I visited NYC for the first time last summer and I simply loved it. The 3 days we were there was one of those legendary "I love New York in June" span of days... what fun!
oops. I have to be more careful with the cursor.
Anyway, I am really aching go go back and see Central Park in a different season, just like those photos show it.
So glad you enjoyed your visit, joe!
I used to practice tai chi forms in the park on weekends, but it's been a while since I did that.
I found those photos on the flickr photo sharing site. I think the photographer shot those photos on Halloween, if that helps. If you're ever in the city on Halloween itself, you have to plan ahead, it's incredibly crowded because of the Village parade.
Ooooooohhh! Gorgeous! My childhood was spent in and out of NYC. I'm from binghamton. Lots of relatives in the city.
Wher are you doing your Tai Chi now Kad?
LOL! The living room in my apartment. Not very big, so it's a different kind of challenge. I've taken to trying it -- carefully -- with my eyes closed.
I have to roll the two desk chairs into the kitchen to make room when I want to do tai chi. Sigh, NYC apartments. If I just do yoga, then I only have to unroll a mat.
One time when my brother-in-law came up, he looked around at my whole apartment, then said, "Nice office!"
I guess I should put up some pictures. At least I took down the caricature of the president.
Hmm! Both you and jm are from Binghamton, I believe.
I've taken to trying it -- carefully -- with my eyes closed.
You're so funny.
How many of me are there?
Working with a small space is yoga in itself, I find.
I always was able to break up space further and further to create dimension within to compensate for the lack of square footage. Got really good at it.
And got to love Scandanavian modular furniture for the perfect custom fit.
The whole thing really is an office.
No...I, jm, am from Vestal. Me is from Endicott. She is from Johnson city. Her is from Sunrise Terrace. And we all lived right outside of Binghamton. So Bingo is the umbrella.
"How many of me are there?"
Oh, sorry about that, I scrolled around the page too fast and misread the signature!
Actually, I have thought it's like having multiple personalities, or like acting, the roles we play in interacting with people in our lives and via this collaborative writing on the blogs. You especially seem to revel in it. I still have your chart labeled as "Teresa"!
This is a huge one. I actually have difficulty with name changes and the whole creation of image thing. I think this is one of my blocks to self expression. I want to be able to completely abandon myself to the role.
I intended to create a stage name and struggled with it for a long time. I haven't decided whether or not to take the jm title permanently but I'm leaning in that direction, but with a last name added.
I know I don't want my birth name as my stage identity and I think when I completely merge with the change, I will have arrived.
My partner called me "bom" for 25 years. I never had trouble identifying with that. It's interesting that people do this together quite often.
BTW, he called me by my birth name only when angry and he would eee-nunn-ceee-ate every syllable.
Names are interesting. I'm not sure I feel entirely comfortable with any of my names, but maybe that's all right. And there's a whole numerology thing associated with names and with birthdays. I've not used my birth name since preschool.
I've thought that having a stage name gives permission to behave in new ways. Our minds can be very associative in operation, and old names can bring up memories and habits that interfere with what we are doing, old personas that we may be outgrowing.
I remember reading a poignant verse about returning to the old neighborhood where people only remember the childhood name.
This is so important to me right now.
I am completely comfortable with both of your names that I know. But I love Kadimiros. It's musical and intriguing. Great rhythm.
I'm not sure I feel entirely comfortable with any of my names
Maybe none of us are. maybe we are always trying to evole into another being. And you're right.
old names can bring up memories and habits that interfere with what we are doing, old personas that we may be outgrowing.
I've seen some who can change names more easily than others. But why must we cling to one anyway? Why can't we consciously choose who we want to be?
I have great great difficulty with this. Part of me wants to crawl back to familiarity. Part wants to go uncomfortably into new territory.
The one who said my name the best was my father, and he's gone. So I do feel it's time to be the self of my own choosing.
The liberation of acting a role is what I'm after as well.
I know I don't like my given first and last names together. So if I change one, I might as well change them both.
I want the comfort of being able to not be myself too.
I feel that for me there is a courage with letting go and creating a stage persona for myself. It will legitimize my career onstage and place me fully into the acting role free from the association you mentioned with the past and habit. The shyness. If I can be bold enough to be who I want to be, then I belong on the stage.
"It's musical and intriguing. Great rhythm."
Thanks. Perhaps that's the most important aspect of it. :-) I remember reading how J.R.R. Tolkien, the Oxford professor who made up an entire world complete with languages and reams of history in which to ensconce his stories, famously noted on the euphony of the word "cellardoor".
From his 1955 essay "English and Welsh": "Most English-speaking people...will admit that cellar door is 'beautiful', especially if dissociated from its sense (and from its spelling). More beautiful than, say, sky, and far more beautiful than beautiful. Well then, in Welsh for me cellar doors are extraordinarily frequent, and moving to the higher dimension, the words in which there is pleasure in the contemplation of the association of form and sense are abundant."
"Kadimiros" could be a name from a story. A name that no one else has.
In an interview, Tolkien used it to explain his writing process, "Supposing you say some quite ordinary words to me - 'cellar door', say. From that, I might think of a name, 'Cellardoor', and from that a character, a situation begins to grow."
"...If I can be bold enough to be who I want to be, then I belong on the stage."
That all makes perfect sense. A future version of yourself has been calling you for some time now. Maybe she knows the way.
A future version of yourself has been calling you for some time now. Maybe she knows the way..
Stunning. I will trust her.
The transition is trusting jm now. She's the current future.
I think we can ask future selves questions, too. They live in us, and we in them, and they can warn and encourage from their standpoints.
I have sensed how when people chant or sing words and sounds used in religious practices, they tune in to the collective energies of all the people past, present and future chanting or singing those sounds. Sometimes that is good, sometimes not.
Walt Whitman wrote of Mannahatta (Manhattan, New York City), "I was asking for something specific and perfect for my city, Whereupon, lo! upsprang the aboriginal name! Now I see what there is in a name, a word, liquid, sane, unruly, musical, self-sufficient."
In the famous play, Juliet bemoans the Montague family's claim on Romeo, "'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? ...O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
Names are useful handles, as long as we remember that we are free. They can remind us of aspects of ourselves, and can tell others what to expect.
An editor for a corporate travel magazine commented to me that language makes humans unique. But our human characteristics emerge from the ground of being. Naming is natural. Dolphins use symbolic names for each other. Prairie dogs have enough patterned language to distinguish "tall human in yellow shirt" from "short human in green shirt"; they can warn of specific danger such as coyotes, and can coin new terms for things novel to them.
In the black art of building software applications, well chosen identifiers and imagery make complex processes manageable and easily summoned, layers of functionality wrapped around layers of more basic functions. Then, finally, in the user interface, a singular name or icon is presented for the entire application.
It makes stark how we can invoke in an instant tremendous honed functional power created over years of effort. Consistent peak performances in any field has something to do with recreating internal states of feeling that make the performance possible. Athletics and artistic performance come to mind as exemplary demonstrations.
To answer the personal question a little, I'm comfortable, I think, with "Kadimiros". It doesn't feel too overused yet and it fits lightly enough. It has a warm sound within it, which is a nice influence. I invented it playfully, without more serious immediate purpose than an additional e-mail address to sort my mail. So perhaps I don't feel bound to it or by it. I haven't felt the need to define it. Could be a tale yet to be spun! Maybe it's the name of a wanderer. Or his pen name.
In the past, I've thought about what it would be like to change one of my legal use names, but I haven't really needed to enough to make that effort. Maybe I still will someday, say, if I marry. Perhaps I take all my names more lightly now. I've been moving for years from the question of "who am I?" to the answer of being "I am". It brings a smile to me sometimes when people are surprised to learn of unsuspected facets of other people.
I think we can ask future selves questions, too. They live in us, and we in them, and they can warn and encourage from their standpoints.
I think this is the best source of advice. Our various selves. It's fascinating. We have our past selves we consult, and we know our future selves are there too. So very interesting when we are at crossroads and we sort of divne our direction by consulting these entities. So past habitual painful behavior CAN really be replaced if the desire is strong enough.
I love thinking in terms of the future self as the counselor.
Then, finally, in the user interface, a singular name or icon is presented for the entire application.
Naming, labeling, identifying, encapsulating, and consolidating.
It's like song titles. In some ways they say more than all the lyrics. Also like the frame around a picture. Holding it all together. Instant access, brainwise. Condensing, something the mind always does, and trying to keep the whole thing from scampering away in the scattered state.
So a name captures.
Maybe it's the name of a wanderer. Or his pen name.
Hmmmmmm......wanderer?
I've been moving for years from the question of "who am I?" to the answer of being "I am".
Good move.
"So a name captures."
It may. Or is a ready focus. I've always had alternate names, being from a bilingual household. I think of it more analogously to a mobile address or phone number than as a home.
Bilingual? Please tell.
Yes. An address. A label. To identify location in realspace.
But look at the emotional responses around our names. Everytime someone says it, it comes with a pantheon of feelings that all get stored in the memory, and are evoked with each repetition. Every time our mothers said,"#$%^&", in all her colorful tones
That's a perfectly valid reason to change names.
My ultimate safety is that I can feel who I am apart from names.
I've never understood my mother's curse words, so I don't use those words. I have no foreign language dictionary for street slang. One time, I defused my mother by asking what they meant. I said, "You complain that others don't understand. Please explain these words. How can I communicate with you all if I don't understand?" My grandmother snickered.
When I look at the criticisms absorbed through childhood, instead of looking away and letting them harp behind my shoulder, they become small and manageable. In school, exploring an old troublesome intangible creative block brought up the image of a large boulder in the road, which watched suddenly rolled aside, revealing a tiny little person scolding. This represented all the criticisms absorbed from others for the messiness of creative activities, or for having independent ideas, and much more.
Our bigger selves can reach back to the younger selves we have been, to those parts of us that are still struggling within us.
I guess I have always sensed that I am more than my physical body, more than thoughts, more than an emotional reaction, more than any one role. I remember noticing as a toddler how emotions pass through me. One moment overwhelming feeling of frustation, but a while later, absorbed in a new activity. I thought that was interesting how that could happen.
My experiences offer gifts of power and insight for me in some way. Fresh experiences change past ones, alter their meaning and relevance.
I remember one winter night reaching for something I sensed waiting for me to notice it, the bounds of my sensed self suddenly decompressing to tremendous height and width. A force flooded down into me. An invisible sun ignited within my chest. Then I knew. I felt grateful for everything, even for those who sought to bring me low. (I believe this was near a "Jupiter return", in case you're wondering.) I felt like I was glowing. It was so stunning that I wondered if anyone could notice. I sent the outflow to the people in my life. My mother left her room, afraid. Something had suddenly shifted in her chest, and she could only think that her heart had fallen out of place and would never be right again. I reassured her. She had been depressed, but she improved greatly and her lifelong habit of recurring bad dreams faded.
I could not hold the intensity, but I could remember. I tried to be more careful with my heart and the hearts of others. Afterwards, in the face of family dramas, I sometimes deliberately covered my freshly washed heart, just a little bit, with something invisible. One day, a wise woman smiled and commented on the "little bit of a shield" she saw over my heart. Caught out, I grinned at the floor, saying nothing before picking up the thread of our previous conversation.
Fresh experiences change past ones, alter their meaning and relevance.
Well said.
The radiance you describe in this experience is what I often feel in the presence of Jupiter. It's not heat like the sun, but a different kind of shimmer. The feeling of well-being when the presence is complete. Remarkably out of the ordinary. A deep gold color.
I felt grateful for everything
I think this is a large part of it. The feeling of abundance, not anything actual. Jupiter.
Moon/Jupiter conjunctions are prone to this.
Golden, yes. Softened by the Moon. Beneficient, a positive outflow.
It's a distinct experience. I often get it when involved in some difficult emotional task and in between moments of tension and struggle, the Jupiterian moment of grace comes briefly as a pit stop. Larger than life. Well, ordinary life. The reminders linger forever. I imagine by the end of my life they will have accumulated quite a bit.
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