Hello?
Myrtle Rae's telephone.
posted by jm at 3:42 PM
Saturday, September 23, 2006
About Me
- Name: jm
I am a brilliant creation of the universe formed from the cosmic protoplasm sailing into eternity. I have two hands, two feet, a couple of great ears, and I'm clipping through life at a moderate pace; minding my p*s and q*s, crossing my t*s, dotting every i.
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27 Comments:
Q1) What you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
Q2) What kind of telephones do lobsters use?
Q3) How does a lobster answer the telephone?
Q4) Why is it so hard to find good lobster jokes?
...
A1) Snappy talk! A2) Shellular. A3) Shello? A4) Because they keep them all for themselves. They're shellfish like that.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They're Shellfish!! An Aries lobster!
Did you make these up?
Incredible!
OMG!!! The shellular!
Shell we dance?
"Shell we dance?"
Haha! We'll have a shell of a good time!!!
For one brief moment of insanity, I considered making something up about lobsters and phones -- a lot of creative ideas come from juxtaposing things usually thought unrelated. But I decided to look the answer up on the Internet, and collected a few more riddles along the way.
#2 was originally about turtles. I changed it to lobster, then I came across the image of the lobster cellular phone.
a lot of creative ideas come from juxtaposing things usually thought unrelated.
I've noticed that.
The Internet is amazing It must have a creative mind of its own. It's always right there with just what we need. And more. Like some gigantic gene pool, all our craziness is collected in one place.
I think it appeals particularly to the Aquarian/Uranain types who go for this collective data. The tangential zany important stuff.
Well I laughed all day about Juno's Death card riff, so tomorrow I'll laugh all day about Shellular. I'm so easily amused. . .
Our Web designer was working on graphics last week for a new Moon Sign profile page, and she noticed that the graphics she imported of the signs of the Zodiac had a lobster for Cancer instead of a crab. Whoever designed that set of graphics obviously had his seafood mixed up. He must have been a Gemini. Or maybe even a Virgo. While Virgos usually don't miss such details, they tend to be vegetarians, so maybe he didn't know a crab from a lobster. They've both got claws, what's the big deal?
In any case, the Cancer has put a related crustacean on her phone, and all those jokes would have been just as funny if you'd substituted crab for lobster.
Q5) Why are crabs so successful as telemarketers?
A) They go for the hard shell.
I'm trying to come up with a good line about why crabs make good telephone psychics, but I'm drawing a blank. . . Kad, help me here :-)
LOL on Q5!
Whoever designed that set of graphics obviously had his seafood mixed up.
It can happen!
"I'm trying to come up with a good line about why crabs make good telephone psychics, but I'm drawing a blank. . . Kad, help me here :-)"
They can sidestep tough questions?
Telecrab psychics?
They're good at the shell game.
I think I'll put the word "instinct" back in there; I couldn't decide before. It seems to work better with the connotations of crab. "They have an instinct for sidestepping."
the Cancer has put a related crustacean on her phone
All in the family.
The problem could come in the wills, though, if there is a disagreement about a claws.
"crustacean on her phone"
What's worst than finding a lobster on the phone? A crab on the horn.
HEY!!!!
The damn thing works!
I can talk to any jackass any time I want!
Aunt Myrtle, you've had that crazy thing since I was a kid!
Jm, darling.
You used to talk to your imaginary friends on that phone. You were adorable. Used to invite them over for tea parties.
what a great repartee to wake up to!
Why wake up crabby and salad when you can be a pun lobster and toss a few jokes instead?
HA HA HA!
Kad and his yokes! Sunnyside up!!
I've heard all about Kad's yokes! I'll be coming around to see for myself.
No way am I tossing stuff like that around.
Fortunately, brute strength not required. The pun is mightier than the sword, and justice is no yoke.
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Local yokel! A weakling?
A Kad from New Yoke!
Com'on, that's hardly a fair standard. :-)
On the other hand, the friendly townspeople at the Ren Faire seem to think justice sometimes IS a yoke.
Jeeeziss mary! The yoke's on her. Glad we're out of the those troublesome "dark" ages!
Yes, she can certainly take a yoke. Isn't that wild? I guess she's having fun! 'Cause take away the yoke, and it will be all white.
Later generations might laugh at how we think we've thrown off the yoke. Think we'd appear conservative?
Later generations might laugh at how we think we've thrown off the yoke. Think we'd appear conservative?
I do believe so.
Although there are a few wild hairs among us. Could be evolutionary protoplasm.
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