Carry Me Home
The Summer Solstice is interesting. There is mournfulness underneath knowing that the days are getting shorter and the darkness increasing. Being a Sun in Cancer in the 4th house, I have no argument with the dark. I love it.
It's so perfectly timed. When this celestial event occurs, the urge to find home, comfort, safety and protection comes with it.
I think the place one calls home is important. The foundation of well-being. I couldn't live in the South, for example, because of the mildew. I was raised in rural New York in a town my eighth grade science teacher proclaimed as being in one of the three worst climates in the United States. I believe it. Shuddering in the snow at 7 AM to catch the school bus. Looking up into the sky and forever seeing a gray haze. I finally landed in the Western US drawn by the continual sunshine, crystalline light, and relative freedom from climactic dangers. It relaxes me.
Cancer rules the Motherland and love of country as well. Too much patriotism can bring pain and horror upon people, and this could be in question as Pluto opposes the four USA Cancer planets next. On the other hand, consuming products from home could help the global problems confronting us. American water is every bit as good as water from Italy in the long run. Apples from home certainly have been doing well in the apple pies.
Feeling comfortable where I am is symbolic of comfort within myself. People who hate their countries perhaps could find another one more to their liking, although building a life in a foreign land can be difficult. And there is always the option of making the one you're in a little better. Those who love their homes and their countries do a good thing when they express the full extent of their affection.
Several years ago, on a walk, I found a road and followed it. It ended by a serene canal and a vast stretch of scenery going unobstructed to the Rocky Mountains. The still warm desert sunset was in progress and two cats were sitting on a fence in rapt contemplation. It was blissfully quiet. I knew I'd found my home.
posted by jm at 2:21 PM
26 Comments:
mmmmmm.....thank you.
this one got me down deep!
It feels good to communicate these things.
Oh fer...it just dawned on me. Your new house!
I'd love to hear about it.
Taurus rising means you probably have a Leo 4th; desire for a beautiful home, and Saturn is there now. Could be a deep and stable place, and a good investment.
We thought we were home, finally, after decades of travel. But no, it's not to be, another move is at the doorstep.
I am fascinated at this ever-changing concept of "home," what it is to people, what it means in their hearts.
sige
At this point, I have no idea what "home" means to me, other than I know it when I'm there, and instantly know it when I'm not. Then too, how quickly a "home" can be outgrown. ?!
sige
I've lived at like 24 addresses in 36 years. So while it is new and exciting and all grown up to own a house now, I am having a bit of a freak-out backlash.
It is a sweet, beautiful home and she knew I would be just the one to give her the TLC she needed. And there is a sizable backyard with nuthin' in it, a -yippee- blank canvass for my gardening adventures.
Patience.
That's what owning a home is teaching me even in these first few months. I'm an instant gratification kinda gal.......
But it was your words about home in a deeper sense that got to me. Why not love where you are and cultivate a sense of home there, appreciate the bounty that where you are has to offer (so tender!).
And your description of finding your sense of place was beautiful. I remember someone suggesting that we all have a soul-place in the world and it may be nothing like where you are from. you know it by the feeling you get: you feel like your best and most favorite, authentic and easy self there.
The desert calls to me so I feel like eventually I will make my way out West too..
Ahhhh! Jm, this post had me back in my childhood home, being tugged out of bed at 5:30 am, trudging through snow to the bus stop.
Meristem, like you, I moved in February. My 20th (roughly) move in 15 years. My partner? 10 moves in 12 years. Gah! But I feel like we are here for the long term. I feel safe here.
I feel drawn to the desert. I also love the water! But I am certain that in the next 15 years I must find a warmer climate to live in.
Omg, meristem. Your first house. Congratulations!
Taurus rising loves the feeling of stability and possession. I just got my first house 7 years ago, when I was over 50. I had really liked camping out, with freedom and no responsibility but it had to be.
Every house is different and you don't know until you get in one what it will do with you. You don't know its peronality until you get going. What part of yourself will be represented. It's fascinating. Quite a relationship.
Chrispito, I love living in a warmer climate. Some places require constant effort to endure, others don't. Back to Taurus and the life of ease.
Problem is now, my Taurus has collected so much crap I never want to move again! And it's really a fraction of what most have.
I used to think I disliked the desert, but now that I've I've live in an arid climate for 35 years, I love it.
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Yes, Virgo and organization, neatness.
Cancers also are notorious slobs, and I am one! My mother used to think my partner and I were hilarious. Both being artists, we had a million creative projects going all the time, and stuff everywhere.
He once took his empty bourbon bottles and strung them up on the towel rack in the bathroom. The "bourbophone" made a lovely sound!
We saved evvvverrryything for potential project use.
At this point, I have no idea what "home" means to me.
Great thought.
I've lived in Colorado for 33 years and it's home. But after 20 years of absence from my birthplace, I returned, and it was definitely home as well.
So I must have several homes. If I went back to the old funky house I had in santa Fe for 5 years, that would probably evoke these feelings too.
Some people form attachments to place, and I think others, less so. their experience is in a different realm.
As I age, I think I'm getting closer to my NN in Taurus. Taurus is fixed earth and she loves the sensation of nonmovement. Her impulses go first toward developing roots in the ground, and once she's gone through that investment of time, she probably figures I might as well stay and grow a fabulous leaf system to provide beauty and shade.
I do identify with the trees who move by growing concentric rings, staying rooted to the spot.
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well. If I want it I keep it. If I don't I give/throw it away.
I get all the life I can out of things. I have a 37 year old van that no one can believe is still running, but now they know me. I take care of everything that comes my way. It's all precious.
The bottom of my percolater is disconnected from the top, but I keep glueing it as long as it bubbles and makes my coffee.
My clothes are as old as the hills. they say a Cancer doesn't feel comfortable in a garment until it's ready to fall apart.
Of course, as soon as I'm famous, I'm going to get some nice boots.
I do identify with the trees who move by growing concentric rings, staying rooted to the spot.
Listen up, jm.
Ha Ha, JM just like me, man i love to keep things going. My son calls us Daughters of the Depression.
Of course, as soon as I'm famous, I'm going to get some nice boots.
Red ones? Special ones? Do tell.
LOL!!
Red ones sound so good I'm itching. Oh oh oh. Red boots.
I love the sensousness of the hug around the calves.
That alone is worth the treacherous voyage into the world.
Unh! Red boots. I can't stand it!
That just did it. Another notch in my change of life, and I don't mean the hormonal edition.
Red boots.
I was sitting here scanning some garden pictures thinking of relaxing and going nowhere ever. Who needs money and food anyway? As long as I have my Kool Aid at 12 cents a packet.
But the boots have done it. I'm going out. Eventually. Kick up some dirt in this crazy world.
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"I do identify with the trees who move by growing concentric rings staying rooted to the spot."
Love, love this and it mirrors my own 'home' experience- I've lived in my current house for 23 years.
I have Cancer rising and four planets in the fourth house, so to be expected.
I am intrigued about the Cancer references you made, JM, that I have never come across, yet they certainly apply to me as well -
"Cancers are also notorious slobs" and
"a Cancer doesn't feel comfortable in a garment until it's ready to fall apart"
- my house always has much that is waiting to be 'got to' and no one could call me a clean freak; plus my sister has laughed at me, as I will darn holes and even use tone on tone patches to keep favorite clothes going.
Oh - also, JM - in reference to a comment of yours made in an earlier, different thread - I don't know anyone who doesn't love a good fire. :)
tm
Tm, how good to hear from you.
My god. All that Cancer-4th house. No wonder you are so sensitive and poetic. All the feeling is there in every word, and the Moon-Saturn added makes for emotional depth rarely seen. It's a lot to handle in a less than sympathetic world. I'm curious about how you do in fact handle it. The urge to stay in a cacoon. And also the degree of Cancer rising.
The fire will continue.
Thanks JM -
I don’t fight the urge to stay in when I need to. Used to do so; I used to think I had to 'get out there and be somebody'– but I’m done blaming myself for what I simply am and also am done trying to be other than that.
I keep getting back up on the donkey.
I've very recently begun to turn some of my endless journaling into poetic form. The focus required and having a final finished result (if there ever is such a thing) has been a wonderful emotional release valve.
As far as living in "a less than sympathetic world", for me the keys are increased self-acceptance (meditation and the I Ching have been invaluable here) which leads to allowing the world and people to be what they are (I Ching again). With this acceptance I realized how much energy I used to put out to 'change things for (my idea of) the better.' My Moon/Saturn in Scorpio needs control. But,again, the I Ching has been invaluable in showing me that I am responsible for my path only.
I do have to literally be careful, energywise, who I spend time with. Solitary time in nature fills the tank.
15 degrees Cancer rising
tm
You are a wonderful writer. Stopped me in my tracks with your first comment. Good writers are associated with the Moon and Cancer. The fluidity and rhythm.
Most writing is disjointed and I have to work hard to get from word to word. But the good writers have a flow in the words that makes me want to stay with them and continue the ride. A great writer helps me, soothes me, takes my mind off troubles, and gives to me, not trying to prove too much. I'm astounded at the body of bad writing out there that gets attention and praise. In the end this keeps the level from going up, and the good ones get lost in the deluge. Fortunately, not always.
There is natural talent in the best that allows the words to align themselves without too much interference. A metaphor for the flow of events in our lives, I think.
!5 degrees is right on my 12 degree 4th house cusp, so we are right at home with each another.
Ah - makes sense. There is a home-like quality for me when checking in at Raging U which I still find a bit bemusing.
"There is a natural talent in the best that allows the words to align themselves without too much interference."
This certainly applies to your own writing fluidity.
Back to the Cancer connection and feeling at home - I just remembered that my first comment was at the post about the creative world you live in. :)
Thanks again for this wonderfully creative space of yours.
tm
What a great reminder tm, about the first post and the creativity. This is relevant. I must remember what it's all about and not get sidetracked. I'm still not so good with the group, but this is secondary. Your Moon-Saturn in the 5th knows full well.
Time to consult the I Ching.
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